What's In A Name?
by Sessy-sama
Summary: Inhibitions are cause by one's thoughts about themselves. To remove inhibitions one must remove their own self image. InuYasha learns that only by forgetting himself can he come to understand how much he needs Kagome. Rating change later on.
1. Once Lost

Disclaimer: InuYasha, I don't own you so why do you torture me to write this!

Yes, this story is not supposed to be written till AFTER I finish Forever Mine, but I have had some serious writer's block on that and I think this one here is the cause. If I don't write them when they tell me too they never let me do anything else easy.

I hope you all like it. Review! Review! Review!

Also, I do use a lot more Japanese terminology in this than in my other stories, so at the end will be translations for those who need them.

What's In A Name?

Kagome ran to him. Why wasn't he moving? Why was he just lying there? Where was the arrogant, conceited smirk he should have right now; getting up from such a weak attack and fighting back again? Why was he so still?

"Kagome-chan!"

"Kagome-sama!"

She could hear their voices, but…but they didn't matter…Hakudoushi didn't matter…the world didn't matter. Only him. Only…

"InuYasha!"

Kagome threw herself over the still hanyou, cradling his head against her chest, shielding him from anyone who would hurt him. She would let Naraku and all his abominations kill her if it protected him. Anything to keep him safe.

Time was a relative creation of the world, to Sango and Miroku it was moving all too fast, and they too slow. Hakudoushi would reach Kagome before they could. Both Kagome and InuYasha would die.

To Kagome though, time was still, as still as the one who rested in her arms. Nothing else existed for her but InuYasha. His blood soaked silver hair clumped together. She would need to wash and brush it later. She slowly pushed back his bangs and ran her fingers over his forehead, down the bridge of his nose, and finally across his cheek. Tears fell from her pale cheeks as her eyes followed the path her nails had made in his blood.

"Kagome-chan!"

She needed to get the blood away.

"Run!"

She used her whole palm to wipe away the blood flowing over his face…his eyes…his mouth.

"You'll die."

Why wasn't there any air on her hand? She held it above his mouth again. No air. Baka. Of course there was air. There had to be. He had to be breathing.

"Kagome-sama!"

He was too stubborn to just go off and die. No, he had to be breathing. He had to be alive.

"Kagome-chan, run! You'll both die!"

Time and reality returned to the ill-trained miko. Her life didn't matter, but if Hakudoushi thought she would let him kill InuYasha…no. She would never let him die!

Kagome lowered InuYasha's body to the ground and rose, one hand grasping her bow, the other removing an arrow from her quiver. Hakudoushi was almost upon her, the blade on his staff raised to strike. Kagome's face was cold…deadly. Her fingers notched the arrow against the bowstring and pulled back.

"Your sight is no longer needed. Die." Hakudoushi swung the blade down.

"Yes, die."

A single motion. The lifting of three fingers away from the arrow. That was all she did. That simple, single motion. But that was more than enough.

Hakudoushi's blade came down across her arrow as it made its path to Kagome herself, but the arrow pierced through the weapon, shattering the wood and sending the metal blade flying. The pale aura only increased the closer to Hakudoushi it got. The light, was blinding.

When everyone was able to see again Hakudoushi was high in the sky, his right hand holding onto his severed left arm as Kagura made their escape. Miroku and Sango stared at the unyielding form of their young friend; her hand still held back from the shot. Suddenly, the bow fell to the ground and Kagome collapsed beside the seemingly lifeless hanyou.

"InuYasha! InuYasha! Wake up!" Kagome frantically tried to clean his face again. "They're gone, so please…please wake up!"

She yanked at her sleeve, ripping the seams apart, and tore again and again till she had a pile of make shift bandages. She used them all only to have to do the same with her other sleeve. She pressed as hard as she could against the gash going up the side of InuYasha's face. But it was so long, from the top of his neck to just below his precious canine ears, and there was so much blood.

Sango and Miroku were working to stop his other wounds from bleeding, while Shippo brought new bandages from Kagome's bag. Stopping his facial wound wouldn't matter if he bleed to death from the others. Each of them struggled to stop his bleeding, to save his life, to keep their dear friend with them. None could stand to lose anyone close to them ever again.

With the last of their supplies used up Miroku helped Kagome and Sango place the battered hanyou on Kirara's back. The two women sat on either side to keep him steady as they headed back to Kaede's village and the well. Miroku and Shippo followed behind on foot so as not delay them. Kagome knew if she could just get him back to her time he would survive. There was so much more they could do for him there.

But then, time is always relative to the person, and Kagome could feel its enormous power pressing in on her. She was losing to what was only a futile struggle to which InuYasha's life was the prize. How could she have let him do that? Why did he have to do that?

__

"Kagome!" InuYasha screamed as Hakudoushi's blade made an effortless swing towards the fallen girl.

Kagome watched as the shimmering metal struck Tessaiga, pressing down till it reached the red cloth covering InuYasha's right shoulder. Down. It kept going down. After InuYasha's scream. It kept going down. Why? Why?

InuYasha placed his left palm against Tessaiga and with all his strength forced Hakudoushi's blade back. Blood dripped over his wrist and down the length of his fingers. Tessaiga's hilt was completely drenched with its master's blood in a matter of seconds, but InuYasha still stood there, protecting her.

"Kagome, are you hurt?" InuYasha's breathing was strained, but he didn't seem to care.

"InuYasha? InuYasha, your shoulder…"

"Are you hurt?"

Kagome was taken aback. Why wouldn't he care about himself?

"Kagome?"

"I'm fine."

A strange expression crossed his face, just for a moment, but it was definitely there. Was it…relief? In a second it was gone and replaced by the arrogant smirk aimed directly at Hakudoushi.

"Is that all you got?"

Tears rolled down Kagome's flushed cheeks. It wasn't worth it! One shard! One! Kagome would give up the whole Shikon no Tama if it meant InuYasha lived.

__

"Give me the Shikon shard you stole."

"Kohaku gave his life to get us this shard. Not you or Naraku will ever touch it again!"

A menacing smirk danced on Hakudoushi's lips. "That boy had no life to give. That shard was his life."

Kagome heard a low growl coming from InuYasha. Her brown eyes shot open as he charged Hakudoushi without even considering the seriousness of his injury. He swung, breaking the ground and splitting the wind as the Kaze no Kizu raged towards the monstrous boy. Hakudoushi's barrier immediately swallowed the power of his attack and reflected it back to InuYasha.

Kagome was about to scream, but InuYasha…smiled. He lifted Tessaiga above his head and swung once more, right into his reflected attack.

"Bakuryuuha!"

Everyone stared in confusion. Could he actually use his own attack to create the Bakuryuuha? The two powers connected and for a moment nothing was certain for anyone. The youki attacks mixed and split. They waited…where would it go?

InuYasha's smiled broadened as the powerful attack turned and spun straight towards Hakudoushi. The barrier was formed but with each strike against it Hakudoushi's face showed more fear until…

Why? Why didn't it end there? The barrier broke! Why didn't it end right there? Why couldn't he have died right then!

__

"Ryuuja no Mai!"

Kagura's wind mixed with the Bakuryuuha and diverted the attack away from Hakudoushi. He was, however, without a barrier and severely weakened from straining to hold the previous one. InuYasha saw his opportunity and hurried to take it. Tessaiga was lifted high above his head.

"Kagura!" Hakudoushi screamed.

From her place high above the battle Kagura released attack after attack to keep InuYasha away from Hakudoushi.

Kagome's hands shook as she held InuYasha in her bloody embrace.

"I…I should have paid more attention. It's all my fault." She buried her face in InuYasha's mangled hair and wept.

"Kagome-chan…" Sango's voice was hesitant. "Kagome-chan, it's not your fault. No one…no one could have stopped this."

"No!" Kagome screamed. "If I had just watched him. If I hadn't let him get so close InuYasha…InuYasha wouldn't…"

__

"Kagome-sama!" It was Miroku's voice that brought the danger to everyone's attention.

Hakudoushi was nearly in striking distance of Kagome who, in her confusion, had yet to move from her fallen position. Her eyes locked on the metal quickly approaching her. There was no escaping it, and InuYasha was too far away to protect her. Everyone was too far. So why was there blood but no pain?

Kagome ran her fingers over the crimson trail slowly dripping off her face, but there was no wound. Her eyes focused in front of her. How? How had he made it?

Hakudoushi laughed as he pulled the blade form the side of the hanyou's face. He lifted it once more and struck InuYasha in the side, throwing him effortlessly.

Yes, this was all her fault. If only she had died, InuYasha would be safe now. She felt Kirara begin her descent and lifted her frightened face from InuYasha's back. They were already at the village? How long had she been thinking? She watched as Sango directed Kirara towards Kaede's hut and grabbed hold of her friend's arm.

"The well. Please. My time has more…more we can do for him, please."

Sango didn't objected and Kirara once again bounded into the air heading for the well. It was only a minute with the youkai neko's speed, but to Kagome eternity was shorter. Once at the well Sango helped Kagome lift InuYasha's unconscious form onto the edge.

"Kagome-chan, will you be ok?"

"I swear I won't let him die."

Sango nodded and pushed InuYasha and Kagome into the well. She held tightly to InuYasha as they traveled the span of centuries knowing that a single second could take him from her. Kagome soon felt the cool earth beneath her and hurried to check InuYasha. Somehow…somehow he was still alive, still fighting to stay in her world.

Kagome gently placed him next to her before climbing the small ladder leading out of the well. She ran as fast as she could, the setting sun casting its final rays on her blood-streaked body.

"Help! Mama! Grandpa! Souta! Anyone help!" Kagome's frantic screams were heard long before she reached her home.

Her family bolted out of the house and hurried to find out what was wrong. All of them stopped as they took in Kagome's ragged appearance. Blood covering her face and bare arms. Her shirt in tattered remains of what it once was, and terror firmly etched in her young face.

"Please, he's hurt! We have to hurry!"

Kagome didn't even wait for them to reach her before double backing to the well house. Behind her she could hear her families' shoes pounding against the smooth stone ground. She ran down the well house steps, nearly tripping in her haste, and carefully climbed into the well so as not to return to the past.

She checked him again. She had to keep checking. He had to stay alive, and, for now, he still was. Shadows blocked what little light she received as her mother looked in to see what they needed to do.

"Kagome, use this and tie him to the ladder. We will pull him up."

She waited and soon a pale purple sweater fell into the well, her mother's sweater. Kagome did as she was told and tied InuYasha's unharmed shoulder to the well ladder.

"Okay, he's ready."

Slowly, the ladder and hanyou began rising up the side of the well. From her place Kagome supported InuYasha from below, which sped up the process. Finally, she felt his weight completely leave as he disappeared over the edge. The ladder was quickly tossed back down and Kagome joined the others at the surface.

It hurt Kagome to look upon InuYasha's fragile body. Fragile. When had he ever been fragile? Yet, he was right now. Fragile. Weak. Dying. No…no he couldn't be dying. She wouldn't let him die.

Her mother was the most in control. She took InuYasha's arm and, with Grandpa's help, managed to support part of his body. Kagome moved to his other side and did the same.

"We need to take him to the hospital," Souta said in a scared voice as he helped get InuYasha's feet up the well house steps.

"We can't take him there. Who knows what they would do when they found out he is a hanyou. He needs help, but we can't take him to a hospital."

"But we can't do much for wounds this severe, Kagome. He needs help from professionals."

Suddenly, Grandpa ran ahead of them as fast as his old legs could take him. "I may know someone that can help. Leave it to me."

Kagome was finding it increasingly difficult to move beneath the combined weight of InuYasha's body and her own exhaustion. Somehow, though, she kept going, and with her mother's help, they managed to drag the injured hanyou to the house, leaving a bloody trail over the once clean stone ground. Grandpa was on the phone frantically talking to his unknown friend as the two women managed to pull InuYasha into the front hall.

"…take him to the hospital. He needs help though. Can you get over here right now?"

"Souta, go clear a path to the bathroom, we need to clean him up," Her mother ordered.

"Right!" Souta ran ahead and began moving things away.

"Hurry, we will do what we can till you arrive."

Kagome's head spun with all the shouting going on. Her fear and confusion were struggling to overwhelm her, but as long as InuYasha was still alive she knew what she had to do. Save him.

With a now cleared path to the bathroom Kagome and her mother worked to get InuYasha through the house and into the large tub. It was the only place they would be able to clean body off and contain the blood still seeping from his wounds. It was difficult at times, but the combined strength of the women was enough to get him there. When he was safely in the tub Kagome's mother turned to Souta and Grandpa, who had just entered the room.

"Get bandages and antiseptic and every towel we have." Her mother's calm and sure voice was helping to steady Kagome's panicked mind. "Kagome, we need to get his clothes off and clean the wounds. Take off his haori."

Kagome nodded and worked the tattered pieces of red cloth free of his torso. His normally beige undershirt was soaked a scarlet hue. Kagome held back her tears and focused on getting the undershirt off. Wasn't there any color but red on him? Or maybe she had blood in her eyes and everything was red? Yes, it had to be that. No one could lose _that_ much blood.

Suddenly, she heard the water turn on and her mother grabbed her hand. "Kagome, come wash his legs off. I will take care of his chest and face."

"But Mama…"

"Kagome, wash his legs off."

Her mother's voice was gentle but unwavering. Kagome knew she was not in a state to properly treat his wounds, but she wanted to be the one with him. Kagome reminded herself it was best for him to let her mother take care of the more serious injuries and consented. She moved to the other end of the tub and looked down.

His red hakama had been removed and a white towel now covered his waist. Kagome couldn't recall her mother taking them off him, but then again her mind was having trouble doing a lot of things. A small wash cloth was put into her hand, she guessed by her mother though she didn't look up to see. His legs weren't nearly as bad as his upper body. Most of the blood was dried already, mostly from wounds at his chest that had dripped down.

She passed the cloth beneath the running faucet and let it soak up the clear water. Kagome's fingers trembled as she scrubbed away the blood and dirt only to reveal his strong legs had turned very pale. Aside from the lack of color in his skin InuYasha's legs were relatively free of wounds, other than scrapes and cuts. Kagome was glad her mother had them switch, seeing this gave her some hope.

That small piece of assurance was quickly taken from her when she looked up at the rest of his body. If she had thought his legs were pale then the rest of his body was as white as the towel around his waist. The only color on him was the crimson soaked cloths covering his wounds. Over half of his face was covered and her mother's hands were working frantically to stop his bleeding.

How…how was he still bleeding? How could he still be alive? Was all she doing here, watching him slowly die? Was she really that helpless to save him? Her hand slowly moved to try and touch his face.

"Kagome!" Her mother's harsh tone shocked Kagome out of her trance. "If you can't stay focused then get out."

Kagome just stared at her mother, shocked by the fierce look on her face. She was doing everything to save InuYasha and Kagome was just becoming an obstacle for her. No, she wasn't going to leave and she wasn't going to give up on him yet. Kagome nodded her resolve and focused on the wound at his waist, the last one Hakudoushi inflicted.

Her mother had already cleaned it but the makeshift bandage was already soaked so Kagome worked to change and clean t once more. A part of her was pleased to see it wasn't bleeding nearly as badly as before. As she examined it closer she found it wasn't as deep of a cut as she had first thought, or perhaps InuYasha's youkai nature was already healing him. She prayed it was the latter since that would mean all his wounds were healing.

Kagome didn't know how long she and her mother knelt over the bathroom tub continually cleaning and re-bandaging his injuries, but after what felt like an eternity a man arrived at the shrine door. Grandpa hurried and showed him in, and many thanks could be heard coming from the old man. If he could help InuYasha she would give hundreds more.

Before the man even got near the tub she could see the shock on his face. "With all this blood why can't you take him to a hospital. He definitely needs it."

It was Kagome's terrified face that stopped the man completely. "Please, please, we can't take him. Please help him."

The middle age man placed a reassuring hand on her shoulder and smiled. "Of course I will help him."

Somehow everything seemed to get a little better when she heard those words. She had no idea who this man was but his tone was gentle and strong. He moved closer to the tub and looked over at InuYasha.

"Why can't he be taken to the hospital though?"

Kagome's mother moved the towel on his face back just enough for his perfect puppy ears to show. "Because he isn't human."

The man's brown eyes widened as he stared at the canine features. "What is he?"

"A hanyou. Half human, half inu youkai," Kagome explained. "You'll still help him, won't you?"

"I said I would help him and I will. That just explains a lot of questions."

The man traded places with Kagome's mother and examined the extent of InuYasha's injuries. After a few minutes of silence Kagome moved closer to the tub again.

"Will he be okay?"

"Please leave." Kagome was taken aback by the rigid tone now filling the once gentle man's voice. "Higurashi-san, please remain here. Everyone else leave."

"But…but I need to help."

"You helped all you could, now let me do what I came to."

The man's eyes were cold and unwavering. Grandpa took her by the arm and carefully pulled her out of the room, closing the door behind them. He guided Kagome up the stairs and to her own room.

"Kagome, all we can do now is wait. Why don't you take a shower and change into some fresh clothes."

Kagome moved in a trance state. Her mind had stopped thinking. It was the only defense she had left. Her body found some clean clothes and walked to the unoccupied bathroom. She stripped and left the soiled remains of her clothing on the floor. Her legs stepped into the small tub and her bloodied hand turned on the shower. Kagome watched as the clean, clear water turned pink as it slid over her bare body. The porcelain beneath her feet covered in a pale crimson color.

"It's all my fault," Kagome whispered to herself. "Why couldn't I have died? Why was he willing to sacrifice himself? Why?"

Her body leaned against the back wall of the shower and slowly slid down till she sat curled up in the corner. The water splashed over her face hiding the tears that fell from her bloodshot eyes.

Somehow Kagome managed to move again and she left the shower. She dressed and opened the door to find her brother sitting against the opposing wall.

"Souta," Kagome managed a weak call.

The young boy's eyes were red and filled with concern. "Nee-chan, are you alright?"

Kagome nodded, but Souta still looked worried.

"Nee-chan, you're all wet."

Kagome looked down at herself. Her clothes were soaked and sticking to her body. She had dressed before bothering to dry off.

"I had better change then," she said in an emotionless tone.

She walked to her room and changed into a new outfit without even knowing what was going on. She just kept moving. Souta was waiting for her outside her room as she exited. Before she could do anything Souta reached out and grabbed Kagome around the waist, burying his face against her stomach.

"InuYasha no nii-chan is going to be okay, isn't he? He isn't going to…to…"

Souta's breakdown finally snapped Kagome into reality. She wasn't the only one worried about InuYasha. Souta…Mama…Grandpa, they all knew InuYasha. Sango…Miroku…Shippo…even Kaede, they all must be very worried. They can't even know what is happening right now. They didn't see how deathly pale he was, or how horrible his once handsome face looked, now with the gash going up its right side. They must be so very scared for him. So worried. Sango. She just lost Kohaku, how can she lose InuYasha too. How could any of them stand to lose him? The answer was simple, they couldn't.

Kagome pushed the shaking boy away before kneeling before him. She placed her hand behind his head and held him to her comfortingly.

"Don't worry. InuYasha is stronger than this. He won't leave us. He'll be fine."

"But…he was so hurt…and you were so scared."

"Gomen, Souta. Gomen. It was scary, seeing him like that. Scarier than anything I have seen before, but you know what?"

Souta sniffed back tears as he looked up to her. "What?"

"InuYasha will not die."

"How can you be sure!"

"Because he will not die before we stop Naraku. I know that. InuYasha will be with us when we finally defeat him." _If he's not…_ "He will be there, so he will live. I believe that." _I have to believe that._

Souta was still scared, but at least he had calmed down. Kagome took him downstairs and was about to go to the living room when she saw Grandpa in the hallway on his hands and knees. The siblings took a closer look and found out he was cleaning the floor of the blood trail they had created dragging InuYasha in. Kagome was already anxious and at least by cleaning she could do something useful.

Both she and Souta joined Grandpa in cleaning the floors. It wouldn't have taken that long to do normally, but if they finished it would just mean they would have to sit and wait. It took a very long time to clean the floors that night. The closer to the bathroom door she got, the more her body tensed.

What was happening behind there? Was he still alive? Were they afraid to come out and tell her he had died? Why was it taking so long? How much longer would it be?

Kagome leaned against the wall next to the door and prayed. Even after the floors were clean and Souta and Grandpa had gone to clean the ground outside, Kagome sat there praying for him to live. She didn't know how long she remained there, only that Souta and Grandpa had finished and returned inside while her mother and that man worked. Finally, Kagome stood and went to find her grandfather.

"Grandpa," she said sitting down on the couch next to him and Souta, "who is that man?"

"A priest, like me."

Both Kagome and Souta stared at him confused.

"But how can he be a priest and a doctor?" her brother asked.

"Sanzo-sensei didn't become a priest till years after he had been a doctor. He took over when his father died and the shrine was entrusted to him. He still practices medicine at free clinics, as well as attending to his duties at the shrine."

"That's why you called him, cause he is a priest?" Kagome asked.

Grandpa nodded. "I figured if anyone would believe he was a hanyou it would be a priest, but we needed a doctor as well. Sanzo-sensei was the only person that fit that."

"Is he good? I mean, a good doctor?"

"As good as any you will find at a hospital. He will be able to help InuYasha."

Kagome sighed and leaned back against the couch exhausted. How much longer could she stand not knowing what was happening to him? The stillness of the house became nearly unbearable. Nothing seemed to be happening, and Kagome desperately wanted to be doing something, anything but sitting there waiting. As the night drew on Kagome felt Souta fall asleep against her. Kagome's own body was crying out for rest but no matter what, she couldn't seem to fall asleep, her worry was all consuming.

Finally, at around three in the morning, Sanzo walked into the living room. Kagome's breath stopped in her chest as she waited to hear the news.

Sanzo smiled down at her. "He's still alive."

Tears of relief fell from Kagome's tired eyes. So much worry and fear had been lifted from her in those three words she couldn't even think to speak.

"However."

And that one word brought it all back a hundred folds.

"However," Sanzo continued, "He is not completely out of danger yet. To be honest there is no way a normal person would have survived those injuries, but then again, he is not a normal person."

"Could he still…still die?" Kagome asked in nothing more than a whisper.

"The next twenty-four hours will tell that. He needs blood, badly in fact, but I am afraid of what his body's reactions would be. Just typing it could be hard, let alone knowing if it would accept human blood. I don't want to risk it if it's not necessary."

"So what should we do?"

"I am going to go to the clinic I work at to get some supplies. If we can't get blood into him we need to at least get fluids and antibiotics. The last thing we need is for his wounds to be come infected. I also need something that will accurately monitor his vital signs. I left instructions with Higurashi-san on what to do till I come back, but before I leave I need everyone's help to move him to a bed."

"Of course."

"We are going to make a stretcher, so we need two poles, brooms should do, and a sheet."

Grandpa stood up and headed for the door. "I'll get the brooms, Kagome you go get the sheet."

"Right." Kagome gently woke Souta up and smiled down at him. "Souta, InuYasha is okay."

The boy rubbed the sleep from his eyes. "InuYasha no nii-chan is okay?"

"Yes, now we are going to move him so everyone is gonna to help."

Kagome stood and gently guided Souta to where the sheets and covers were stored. They grabbed one and met with Grandpa who had the brooms. With Sanzo's assistance they made a quick but sturdy stretcher and took it to the bathroom InuYasha was in.

When they entered Kagome's mother was cleaning the floor of a number of bloodied towels and rags. Despite the fact most of her clothes were soiled, she walked over to Kagome and gave her a comforting hug before returning her attention to Sanzo. He moved to the tub, in which a now clean and freshly bandaged InuYasha lay. It hurt to look at his face, the white bandages completely shielding it from view. Sanzo gently lifted InuYasha's torso from the tub and instructed the others to support the rest of the body until they reached the stretcher. Once his body was on the stretcher, it was a simple matter of carrying InuYasha's weight to her mother's room, which was the only room on the main level of the house.

They gently laid him, stretcher and all, on the bed and then removed the brooms from the sheets. He was covered up and Kagome knelt next to the bed.

"I will be back as soon as I can. Just watch him and if anything happens call my cell phone."

Right before Sanzo left Kagome ran over and bowed. "Arigatougozaimasu!"

He bowed back and left the small room. Kagome returned to InuYasha and slid her hand beneath the covers searching for InuYasha's. When she finally found his hand it felt like ice and Kagome's heart sank.

"Kagome, you need to get some sleep. You must be exhausted."

"Please, can I stay with him?" Kagome begged.

Her mother sighed and nodded. "I'll go get you a chair."

Kagome stayed with him throughout the night, always holding his hand, as though he would leave if she let go. At some point Kagome fell into a restless sleep and only awoke when someone tried to separate her from InuYasha. Her brown eyes struggled to see who it was.

"Kagome-san, I need you to let go." Sanzo's gentle voice managed to satisfy her enough to release InuYasha from her grip.

She leaned back in the chair and watched as Sanzo hooked him up to various machines as well as an IV drip. Kagome looked out the curtained window and saw the sun filtering through.

"What…what time is it?"

"A little past six."

Still early. Kagome hesitated to ask a question, but her concern won out.

"If he…if he survives the twenty-four hours he will be fine, won't he?"

Sanzo paused in his work for a moment, but only a moment. "I won't lie to you Kagome-san, his injuries are severe. If he were in a hospital there would be countless tests done to check the extent of the internal damage. Since I can't do that, I can only speculate. His body is healing at a remarkable rate. The bleeding has all but stop, which is the best thing for him. If this continues his body will only need a few weeks to repair itself. What concerns me is the wound to his head."

Kagome once again looked to InuYasha's bandaged face. "Why?"

"There is no way, without going to a hospital, to test for brain damage. That wound actually reached his skull and fractured it." Kagome's breathing stopped. "It didn't break through, but there is no telling what has been done. Even if his body heals, there is the chance he may never wake up. Or, if he does, what state of mind he will be in."

Kagome held back her tears. Even if his body healed, he may never wake up, or he might not be the InuYasha she knew. That couldn't be. He had to return to her. _Her_ InuYasha had to return.

She felt Sanzo place a reassuring hand on her shoulder. "There is also the chance he will recover without problems. You have to accept that at this point, anything can happen."

Days passed and Kagome rarely left InuYasha's side. She left the house only once, two days after she had brought him and returned to the Sengoku Jidai to tell the other what had happened. But no matter how long she waited InuYasha didn't wake up. He never moved, or made any sound, he just lied there. His body had all but healed itself within the week and the only thing that remain to remind them of the hell they went through that day was a small, hairline cut on the right side of his face. It wasn't until the ninth day passed that Kagome awoke to something new.

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The young man's head was pounding. Had he ever known such an unbearable pressure before? He struggled to open his eyes, but for some reason they didn't want to obey him. He stopped trying for a moment and worked instead to figure out what the feeling at his right hand was. He concentrated and finally figured it out. Someone was holding it. So what was the pain in his left hand? And why was his head still pounding?

He struggled once more to open his eyes and this time he succeeded. His amber gaze had trouble focusing at first, but soon he managed to make out objects. He didn't know what they were, but one was connected to his left hand, right where the pain was. He would need to get rid of that, if only he could move his other hand.

The man's eyes turned to the figure seated near him. That's right, there was someone holding his hand. But who was it? Where was he? What happened to him?

He worked to free himself of the person's…the sleeping person's grip, but each time he pulled the other person held tighter. Finally the person began to stir and then look up.

It was a girl. Her black hair was disheveled and there were circles lining her still sleepy brown eyes. As she looked at his face a broad smile crossed her face. Who was this girl?

"Inu…InuYasha!" the girl reached up and grabbed him around the shoulders. "You're awake, InuYasha. InuYasha!"

The girl repeated that word over and over. InuYasha. Was she talking about him? Was he InuYasha?

She moved away from him so they could look at one another. Her face was filled with relief. "InuYasha, do you feel alright?"

He stared at her a moment longer, unsure of how to answer.

"InuYasha?" the girl's voice began to falter.

"Am…am I InuYasha?" he finally asked.

Tears brimmed in her eyes and soon fell to the covers she leaned over. She took a deep breath and nodded. "Yes, you are InuYasha. Do you…do you know who I am?"

Somehow he knew that his answer would upset her, but he was so confused, there was nothing else he could do. He shook his head.

The girl's tears fell quicker but she didn't turn away or leave him. She stayed there, trying her best to comfort him. "Do you remember anything about yourself?"

The man…InuYasha thought and fought within himself to find any piece of himself, but nothing was there. He shook his head again.

He could see the pain in the girl's face. She gently took his hand in her own. It was very warm to touch. "My name is Kagome. You were hurt very badly so I brought you here. This is my home. Do you understand that much?"

"Ka…go...me." She nodded. "Gomen, I don't understand. I don't understand anything."

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So yeah, there you go. First chp of the story I shouldn't have started. Hopefully my writer's block on my other story will go away now that I wrote this.

::points to story:: Let me go now! I want to write the other one!

Don't worry, I won't neglect this one either. I will continue at a reasonable rate. So Review!!!!!!

Sigh, but as promised I will translate all the words for those who don't know them.

Baka – Idiot or Stupid.

Hanyou – half-demon

Youkai – Demon

Neko – Cat

Inu - Dog

Youki – Demon Power

Gomen – I'm Sorry

Arigatougozaimasu – Formal "Thank You"

Gomen – I'm Sorry

Miko – Priestess

Sengoku Jidai – Warring States Era

nee-chan – older sister

no nii-chan – older brother (Souta uses this as a term of affection to InuYasha)

chan – term of endearment, used primarily for girls

san – all purpose honorific suffix, much like Mr. or Mrs., used whenever poilteness is needed

sama – higher than san, used to convey great respect

sensei – term used to indicate certain professions, in this case doctor


	2. Instinct

Disclaimer: Takahashi-sensei has yet to let me have my precious InuYasha, but never give up hope.

Wow, I would have to say I was a little shocked by the response I received on AFF to this fic. 50 reviews for the first chp. The other sites couldn't match that combined. Go AFF!

Now, for all of you who have just recently seen episodes 156 and 157 that were just released about a week ago on fansubs may have noticed a very familiar sight in the fight scene. I _SWEAR_ I did not see that before I wrote the first chapter and as such, I feel very psychic at the moment. I watched and was like, hey this happened…but I wrote it two days ago. Yup, two days before I saw those eps I wrote that fight scene. Go ME!

OK, as not to bore anyone with idle banter, on to the story. What have I done to poor Inu…I wonder. No action in here, mostly through Inu POV so this is his mindset. Has to be told like this.

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The man directed a bright light into InuYasha's right eye, then his left causing strange shadows to appear in the confused boy's vision. The girl…Kagome…she said this man was a doctor and since he woke up wanted to check his…vitals? Was that the word she used? Or did the man use that word? Whatever he was checking, it seemed to be harmless, at least, he hoped it was.

The man stopped the source of the light and smiled. "Well, InuYasha, there seems to be no physical trauma left and all your autonomic reactions are back to normal."

"Auto…?"

"Autonomic. It means things you don't consciously think about. Like your pupils dilating, or your leg kicking when your knee is struck in a certain place. Things that you body does on its own."

"At least my body didn't forget who I am." The boy laughed, weakly.

The man smiled back. "A very good thing. Now, do you know what this is?"

He held up the source of the previous light, but InuYasha had no idea what it was called. He knew it produced light if you did something to it, but the name escaped him. This didn't help his confidence at all.

"Sanzo-sensei," Kagome interrupted, "he wouldn't know what it was even with his memory."

Both men looked at her confused. She seemed hesitant to speak, but after looking at InuYasha, his face undoubtedly showing his confusion, she proceeded.

"Where he is from, they don't have anything like that. So even with his memory he wouldn't know what it was."

Now InuYasha was very confused. Where he was from? Wasn't he from here, wherever here was? Where was here? Japan? Was he supposed to be in Japan? That was the only place he knew of? No, what was the other place? China? Yes, he knew of a place called China. Was he in Japan or China? Where should he be from? Maybe he should just wait and try to figure out where _here_ was before he thought about anything else.

"Well, I need to know how much of his memory has been affected. Can you bring some things he would be able to recognize?" the man…the doctor…Sanzo asked Kagome.

She nodded and left the room, leaving InuYasha and Sanzo alone. The doctor smiled at him as he waited for Kagome to return. "Tell me, do you know why she calls me sensei?"

InuYasha nodded. "Because you are a doctor."

"And you understand things like mother, father, brother, and sister?"

InuYasha nodded again. "They are family members."

"How about Japan? Do you know what that is?"

"It is a country. So we _are_ in Japan?"

"Yes, and do you know what year it is?"

InuYasha thought a moment and tried to think of a year, but nothing came to him. "No."

Sanzo patted the side of InuYasha's arm. "That's okay. You seem to still remember most common knowledge, which is a good sign."

A minute more passed before Kagome returned with her arms full of odd things, but to InuYasha's relief, he actually recognized most of them. She laid them out near his feet on the bed. Sanzo motioned to the items. "Can you identify these?"

InuYasha nodded and pointed to each item as he named them. "That's a bow. A sutra. A crystal…or piece of a jewel? A sword. A bag of chips. And Instant Ramen."

Sanzo smiled broadly at his correct naming of all the items, whereas Kagome seemed a little…disappointed. Was he supposed to know more about these things?

"It seems like the part of your brain that worked for data retrieval wasn't damaged, and that is a very good thing. It means you won't have to learn too much over again."

"How can he remember what a type of object is, but not know what the object itself is?" Kagome asked. So he was supposed to know those things.

"Knowing what an object is, is merely data retrieval. Knowing what an object means to a person requires an emotional connection that is formed through memories. When the ability to retrieve the memories of ones life is interrupted the emotion connection to something is lost. He can say 'This is a cup,' even though before the accident he might have said, 'This is my cup.' It seems that the part of his brain that was damaged was the part that functioned in recovering that emotional connection. Without tests I can only speculate on the extent of damage though."

"So you don't know if that connection can be fixed?" Kagome asked.

InuYasha could hear the hope and worry in her voice. It was the same sound that had been in it since he woke up. Worry when she asked a question that he wouldn't know the answer, but hope that he might remember later. What if he didn't? What was he to her? Or perhaps, what was she to him? If he never remembered would she leave him once he was able to go on his own? It saddened InuYasha to feel nothing towards her, only fear of being alone without a memory. Shouldn't he have felt saddened at the thought of losing her? She seemed sad, so should he?

Sanzo sighed. "It could, in time, repair itself, but there is also the chance he will never regain his memory. For now the best thing is for InuYasha to be surrounded by familiar things and people." He turned to InuYasha again. "I will check in on you everyday for a while to see how you are doing. Are there any question you have before I go?"

He nodded and pointed to the top of his head. "Why are my ears up here? You both have your ears at the side of your head, so why are mine up here? And why are they like an inu's?"

Kagome's eyes closed and he could tell she was trying to hold back tears. He must have been very close to her, for her to be so hurt. He knew he should know why he was like this, but_ he didn't_.

"To be honest, I am not too clear on the details myself. Kagome-san, you should explain it to him."

InuYasha looked to the girl who was quickly composing herself. When she was ready Kagome turned to him. "InuYasha, do you know what a youkai is?"

He nodded. "It's an evil creature."

Kagome hesitated again. "Not all are."

"I'm a youkai?"

"No," she said shaking her head. "You are a hanyou. Half-human, half-inu youkai. That's why your ears are like an inu's."

InuYasha took a moment to absorb this new information. So he wasn't human. That explained his ears…and nails and teeth, he supposed. Was that also why he was from somewhere else? Was he from where youkai came from? But where did youkai come from? Damn, his head was starting to hurt again.

"InuYasha…do you understand?"

He grabbed at his head to try and dull the pounding he felt. "Why…"

Kagome stared at him. "Why, what?"

"If I am half youkai, why are you taking care of me? Am I good or bad? How did this happen? Why am I not from here? Why are you taking care of me?!" InuYasha's confusion was reaching his limits. "I just don't understand."

InuYasha shut his eyes hoping to shut out the light burning his sight. He stopped breathing a moment when two arms wrapped around his shoulders and pulled him against someone. When he inhaled again he knew it was Kagome, her smell was very unique. His head rested against her shoulder and he could tell she was crying.

"I…I don't know how to explain everything to you, but I won't stop trying. No matter how long it takes, I won't leave you, InuYasha. Never. I'll do anything to help you, even if you don't recover, I'll stay with you as long as you need me."

InuYasha didn't look up at her, he couldn't. A part of him was saddened now, very saddened. Not because of anything he felt, but because her pain was deep, yet, he still had no connection to her. He was saddened because…he wasn't sad.

"Arigato, Kagome-san," he whispered.

Something in what he said made her start crying even harder, though she never released him from her embrace.

Things went very, _very_ slowly for InuYasha in the following days. He struggled to just understand where he was from. After Sanzo left Kagome had tried several times to explain it, but somehow it didn't seem real. He was from five hundred years in the past? That was why he didn't recognize most modern devices? And they traveled through the well that was on the shrine grounds in order to go to the past…was that possible?

Whether or not he understood where…when he was from he was forced to accept it. The next step was understanding how he had gotten hurt. This, Kagome was slightly more reluctant to talk about. She cried when she told him…she told him it was her fault. That he had been protecting her and got wounded because of it. Somehow InuYasha felt she had been hurt far more than he had. She remembered what happened and had to deal with the guilt, he merely lived with the consequences of his own actions.

Many times InuYasha had struggled to figure out what exactly his relationship with Kagome had been. She often paused whenever he called her Kagome-san. She had told him he could just call her Kagome, but not adding an honorific was usually done by family or those extremely close, like lovers, otherwise it was an insult. Were they really that close…or was he just considered part of the family? The rest of her family had been shocked when he had addressed them the same way. Was he so close to this family that it wasn't necessary, or was he just that rude? From the way they all treated him, InuYasha was leaning towards the former. He thought perhaps he should stop using the honorific, but…maybe it was for his own protection. As long as he used that it reminded them…reminded her that he didn't know them. He wanted to remember…but to him they were all still strangers.

Kagome kept to her promise and never left him alone if he needed something. She did everything for him, he never lacked for anything when she was there, and she was _always_ there. As much as InuYasha appreciated this, it was beginning to become tiresome. He never did anything for himself, which left him only to think. The problem was all he could think about was how he couldn't remember anything, and hours of that began dragging down his hopes of recovering.

On the fourth day after he woke up he came down to breakfast to find Kagome and her mother arguing. He stayed in the hall so as not to interrupt.

"Mama, I don't want to go to school. InuYasha needs me here. I don't want to leave him alone."

"I will watch over him, Kagome. You need a break from this. You're completely exhausted mentally. Going to school and seeing your friends will help relax you. What good are you to him if you are constantly on the verge of breaking down."

"I don't want to go. I promised to stay with InuYasha."

InuYasha looked to the floor guiltily. He knew he was being a burden to Kagome, but if she needed to go out she shouldn't worry about him. She did though; she was always worried about him. She worried to the point it caused her pain. He was causing her pain. Even if he didn't remember her, Kagome and her family were the only people he knew and InuYasha didn't want to hurt them.

"You should go," he said walking into the kitchen. "I will be fine while you're gone."

"Inu…Yasha." Kagome stared at the hanyou, a defeated look in her eyes. "If…if that's what you want."

"I just…I just don't want you to get too worked up over me. I'm fine. You should go out."

The defeated look turned into a destroyed one and it scared him. Wasn't he doing the right thing? Shouldn't she go out and relax, like her mother said? If so, why did she look so…miserable? A gentle hand was placed on his shoulder as Kagome left the kitchen and headed to her room. He turned to see her mother smiling at him.

"Don't worry. You made the right choice, even if she doesn't realize it."

"But, she looked…"

The woman pulled out a chair at the table for him to sit in. "Don't worry. This will be good for her. I promise."

The morning meal was eaten in silence for the whole household. Kagome wore a green and white outfit. It was first time InuYasha had seen her wear it, but he knew it was a uniform. It felt weird, being able to identify something but not know how. Both Kagome and Souta left shortly after breakfast. She seemed so…scared? …disappointed? …lost? Yes, lost. She looked like she didn't know what was going on and was just moving forward.

InuYasha watched as she descended the long staircase leading to the outside world. This was the first time she was leaving him alone and it made him…uneasy. She really was the only person he knew since he woke up and even without his memory he could tell they were connected somehow, so maybe that was why he suddenly became concerned. Was that why he wanted to call her to return? He knew her. She meant safety, security. That must be why he was worried now? He didn't know any world that _didn't_ have Kagome in it…he wanted her back. He was…scared.

But she needed her time away from him. He could tell how tired she looked, how exhausted she always was around him. Even so…even though he knew he was only hurting her…it scared him…to think she would leave him…so lost. So very lost. The way…the way she had looked. Had he made her that way? Had he sent her away lost?

InuYasha leaned his head against the post at the entrance to the shrine grounds. How he wished he understood more of this. He wished he could be of more help to Kagome, and less of a burden. He wished he could have remembered her, since he must have loved her a great deal, to be willing to sacrifice his life for her. He wished he could remember that feeling.

InuYasha was brought from his thoughts when something landed on his head. He removed the object and turned to face Kagome's mother smiling warming at him.

"I promised to take care of you, so let's go shopping." He looked down at the item in his hand; he recognized it, a bright red hat. "Of course you can't go dressed like that."

The woman led InuYasha back into the house and into the room he had been sleeping in. She made her way over to a closet and pulled out an old box. "I doubt anyone would believe you are a priest, so let's hope these here fit."

From the box she pulled a gray haori and black hakama, handing them over to InuYasha before leaving the room. He didn't really have any other choice so he discarded the white under kimono he had been given after he woke up and put on the new clothes. He was surprised to find they were actually too tall for him. To be more precise the hakama was too long, while the haori fit rather well. He exited and found the woman waiting for him in the hall.

"Whose are these?" InuYasha asked. The only men he had seen in the house were Kagome's grandfather and Sanzo.

A melancholy smile graced her lips. "They belonged to my late husband. One of a few pair I had kept after he died."

She motioned for him to follow her. The two left the shrine grounds and headed out into the town. The town, he began to realize, was enormous. It felt nothing like what he had thought the town would look like, so many people and machines. He was beginning to believe that he wasn't from this time, this didn't feel right to him. Every person seemed to follow completely different guidelines for dressing…were all of them from different times?

"Higurashi-san, no one is dressed like I am, but no one seems to care. Why does everyone look so different?" InuYasha asked, his curiosity getting the better of him.

"The way people dress isn't as restrictive as it once was. The clothes you have are more traditional, but not yet uncommon."

"Higurashi-san, where are we going?"

"We need some groceries for the week and a few other things. Nothing big, just some errands, but I thought you might like to get out of the house for a while."

He nodded. It was enjoyable being able to _do_ something and not just sit in the shrine. Even though he had been nervous when Kagome left, her mother was kind and welcoming. It helped keep him calm and he found himself smiling for the first time since he woke up.

They went to a small store and bought some items Kagome's mother called necessities. InuYasha didn't care too much since he had seen them around the house and the sights in the town were far more interesting to take in. He knew what some things did, but still most of the city was amazing. All the sounds and smells and amazing looking people. It was completely different from what he had been expecting, which was a small quiet village.

They stopped at the edge of a road along with a large crowd of people. "Higurashi-san, why are we waiting here?"

"We have to cross the street, but we can't until that light changes and says we can. It is dangerous to cross otherwise," she explained.

"Why? What would happen?"

"You'd get hit by one of the cars going down the road." She pointed to one of the machines rushing past them at an incredible speed. "You could get very hurt or even killed if you get hit by one of them."

"Oh….wah…" InuYasha nearly tripped as the group began walking forward.

He hurried to keep up with the rest of them while keeping an eye on Kagome's mother. When they were all safely on the other side the crowd dispersed and InuYasha was shocked by how quickly everyone went. Didn't they know how to go slow?

"Ryu-chan, hurry up!" A man was calling to a little girl still in the street.

InuYasha smiled to himself. It seemed some still went slow.

"InuYasha," Kagome's mother called for him.

"Hai, Higurashi-san."

He took no more than a step before his attention was ripped back to the street by a piercing scream. "Ryu-chan!"

InuYasha's head snapped back to see the little girl fallen on the street, and one of the cars was heading straight for her. A sharp, high-pitched squealing was accompanied dozens of frantic screams as everyone watched the scene playing out before them. Without realizing what had happened InuYasha found himself on the side of the road, a shaking girl held in his arms. The man that had been calling for her rushed over and took the girl from him.

"Arigato! Arigato!" the man repeated over and over as people from all over the street surrounded him.

The people praised him and talked of how amazing that rescue had been, but InuYasha just stared down at his hands where the little girl had been. He had jumped into the street, retrieved the girl, and leapt back to the sidewalk without even realizing he had moved. How? How did he do that? How was he able to move like that? A normal person wouldn't be able to move like that…but then, he wasn't a normal person. He was a hanyou. Was that what it meant to be a hanyou? What else could he do?

"InuYasha!"

He looked up to the worried woman. "Higurashi-san. How did I do that?"

She smiled that gentle, comforting smile she seemed to have mastered. "It is just in your nature. Even if you don't remember, your instincts told you to help her."

A youkai was an evil creature. He was a hanyou. How was it in his nature? "But I am…"

"A good person," she interrupted. "If you weren't you wouldn't have saved her."

"I didn't even realize I did it."

The woman took him by the shoulder into a maternal embrace. "As long as she is safe does it really matter how you did it, just that you did."

That's right, the girl was safe. He did it because he wanted to help her. Isn't the fact that he did that enough…didn't it show he really wasn't just an evil creature? He smiled back to her and nodded.

"Let's go then, we still have to get food for supper tonight."

They made it to the grocery store and back to the shrine without any more incidents. InuYasha helped Kagome's mother with all the chores during the day, finding it more enjoyable than just sitting and thinking; besides that, she kept talking to him, telling him different things about Kagome and all the things she knew about him. It wasn't that he didn't appreciate all the time and work Kagome put into helping him, but InuYasha found he preferred her mother's way better.

"Higurashi-san, why did you ask Kagome-san to go to school today? Why take me out?" InuYasha asked as they were folding up some sheets that had been drying outside.

"Because that is what you both needed," she said simply.

"But, how did you know? I thought it was just going to get worse, I wasn't remembering anything, and Kagome-san was trying so hard."

The woman paused for a moment, a sheet hanging from her arms. She looked like she was lost in a memory. "Kagome, she was acting just as I did when my husband died."

"Higurashi-san?"

"Kagome and Souta were too young to remember a lot of that time, and I am glad for that. I wasn't a very good mother to them when it happened."

InuYasha highly doubted that. She seemed like a wonderful mother, even to him.

"I became so worried about how they were taking his death I could barely function. I never mourned for him myself. It was a month or so after his death that I realized I was no longer living my life because I was so worried about everything. If Grandpa hadn't been there to help out, I sometimes wonder what would have happened to Kagome and Souta."

"Higurashi-san."

She shook her head and smiled. "But when I realized that I forced myself to go back to acting as I did before he died, and I found that it was easier to deal with losing him that way. I felt I was able to mourn for him and honor his memory by moving on and raising our children as best I could.

'So when I saw Kagome locking herself and you away from the world, worrying about everything, I knew you both needed to do something. Didn't you feel better saving that girl, even if you don't remember how you were able to do it, wasn't it a natural thing to do?"

__

Natural? Was it a natural thing to do? Yes, it was. It was a part of him, a part he had lost, yet it was still there, just like the rest of him. And it had felt very good to do.

"Hai, I am glad I was able to do it."

"And it is natural for Kagome to go to school. She needs to get out and do something she normally does so that she can begin to accept everything that has happened." She finished folding the sheet in her hand and placed it in the basket on the ground. "InuYasha, Kagome will be home just before supper, would you like to help me make it."

"I don't know how." InuYasha wondered if he had ever known how to cook.

She just smiled again. "Then I'll teach you."

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"Kagome-chan," Eri whispered, gently poking her with a pen. "Are you okay?"

Kagome slowly blinked the sleep from her eyes as she took hold of her surroundings. She was at school. That's right, her mother insisted she go…InuYasha told her to go. So here she was and…class was over. Kagome hurried to stand with the rest of her class and bow. Slowly, she collected her books and closed her school bag. She yawned and stood above her desk just staring. When had she gotten that tired?

"That's it," a voice said behind her. "You're coming with us."

Kagome turned to see Eri, Yuka, Ayumi had surrounded her, effectively eliminating any escape she might have had. She missed spending time with her friends, but the only thing Kagome wanted to do was return home and check on InuYasha.

"Really, everyone, I just want to go home. I think I need to get some more sleep. Still sick, I suppose," Kagome lied weakly.

"Not a chance," Yuka said grabbing a hold of Kagome's right arm. "We're not letting you go till you tell us what is wrong."

"That's right." Eri took Kagome's left arm in her tight grip. "You're gonna tell us everything."

"Really, nothing is wrong. I just want to go home." Kagome's voice was much harsher than she had meant it to be, but they were being rather unreasonable.

"But Kagome-chan, we are your friends. We just want to help you." Ayumi, the closest to a voice of reason of the three girls, said. The concern in her voice was prominent, and since spending time with her friends was her mother's purpose in sending her to school, Kagome relented.

"Just a short while. I want to get home soon." All three girls smiled triumphantly.

Kagome sighed and stared at the table before her. How could all of them getting enough food for dinner be considered a short while? Who knew how long they would keep her here? Kagome herself had nothing more than a soda as she wanted to be out as soon as possible.

Her three friends watched Kagome, having boxed her into the middle of the booth seat. Finally, Eri spoke up. "What did he do this time?"

Kagome just stared at her confused. She had been too deep in thought to quickly understand the question. "He? He who?"

"The rude, selfish, violent, two-timing boyfriend of yours. What did he do?"

Her hands shook as they waited for her to answer. They thought InuYasha had done something stupid and made her mad again. How could she explain what happened? Could she explain what happened without revealing her little secret?

"Did he dump you for his ex?" Yuka asked.

Kagome lowered her head so that her eyes were hidden from view; she didn't want her friends to see the tears forming. "He…he…he was hurt."

"Hurt?" Ayumi's concerned voice asked in a soft whisper.

She lowered her hands to her pleated green skirt and clenched the fabric tightly between her trembling fingers. "He…almost…almost died."

"Kagome-chan."

"He was protecting me."

Eri and Ayumi leaned in and held Kagome by the shoulders. Somehow, it was comforting to tell them.

"Gomen, Kagome-chan," Eri said, "we wouldn't have said those things if we had known."

Ayumi squeezed her shoulder. "He must really love Kagome-chan, to protect her like that."

"But…it's my fault he got hurt." Kagome used all her will to not cry. "If he had just…"

"Let you get hurt?" Yuka asked shocked. "If he was will to do that for you do you really think he could have just let you get hurt?"

"That's right, he would probably feel the same as you do. He would think it was his fault Kagome-chan got hurt." Ayumi smiled at her. "I'm sure he doesn't blame you."

"He is probably happy you didn't get hurt," Yuka added.

That was true. Whenever Kagome had been hurt in the past he had blamed himself. He even tried to send her away to protect her. Still…still…

"Baka! Why is he so selfish? I don't want to see him hurt either!"

"Kagome-chan…" Eri started but Ayumi moving out of the booth stopped her.

"You should go see him, Kagome-chan. That's why you wanted to go home, right? I'm sure he will be happy for a visit."

"Ayumi-chan…arigato." Kagome slid out of the booth and smiled at her friends. "Arigato."

She felt a bit better after having talked to her friends. Maybe she really did need some time away from the shrine and her worries, and hearing them actually _defend_ InuYasha helped quite a lot. She knew that he did it to protect her, and if needed he probably would have done it again, but she was just as selfish as him. She didn't want to see him hurt and feel the guilt any more than he did. One of them had to bear the pain and one the guilt; only if Hakudoushi's attack had hit her she would never have survived and he knew that.

Kagome hurried up the stairs to the shrine only to see something she never expected. InuYasha was standing at the entrance wearing a gray haori and black hakama, but what was most surprising was the expression on his face. He was smiling. Since he woke up she had not seen him smile once, and now, there he was, smiling and calling down to her happily.

"Kagome-san! Kagome-san! Are you hungry?"

She looked at him confused by his question. "A little, I suppose. Why?"

"Dinner's ready. I helped make it and all the time it just made me hungrier and hungrier, but Higurashi-san said I couldn't eat anything until you got home. So now we can eat." InuYasha took Kagome's hand and started to gently pull her towards the house. "Come on."

Kagome followed him, but her eyes never left his hand tenderly grasping hers. This was the first time _he_ had reached out to her. The first time he seemed happy, but, she hadn't been the one to make him this way. In the days she was with him never once had he smiled to her or laughed. Wasn't it enough that he was smiling now, that he was happy and laughing? Even if she hadn't made him that way? Yes. She wouldn't stop his happiness.

"You helped Mama make dinner?" Kagome asked, forcing a smile on her face.

InuYasha looked back and nodded. "I didn't do much, just help slice vegetables and stuff. Higurashi-san did all the hard cooking."

"You seem really happy though."

He nodded again. "We went out into the city today, to get the food. It is amazing out there. Oh, I did something that Higurashi-san said you could explain."

"Did something?"

"Yeah, there was a little girl and she feel in the street. One of those cars was heading for her and I jumped out and got her without even thinking about it. I just suddenly was holding her on the sidewalk. Can I do lots of things like that? Move really fast and jump far. It was pretty far to the girl and back to the sidewalk but I did it in one jump. Is that normal for me?"

Kagome smiled again, though this time is was genuine. "Hai. You can do a lot more than that since you're a hanyou."

"Really? Can you tell me more about that later?" Kagome nodded. "It was weird though, doing that. I didn't even realize I had done it. Higurashi-san said it was an instinct, and that's why I did it. Do you think that's true?"

"You've helped many people before, including me. I can believe that."

So that's why he was smiling. That's why he was happy. He might not have remembered something, but he learned about himself and he saved someone. And, didn't that mean even if he had no memories a part of him was still there. The part of him that made him save the girl…the part of him that made him hold her hand. He was still there, lost somewhere.

"Kagome-san," InuYasha's voice brought her from her thoughts.

"Hai, InuYasha."

"Do you feel better now?"

She looked at him confused. "What do you mean?"

"Higurashi-san said you were worrying too much and it wasn't good for you. Do you feel better now that you went out?"

__

"If he was will to do that for you do you really think he could have just let you get hurt?"

That's right, a part of him was still there. The part that worried about her. She had been too selfish. What's done was done; she needed to stop hating herself…hating him for getting hurt, and start seeing what she needed to do for him.

"Do you?" he asked again.

"Much better now."

"Good, you seemed really tired before."

"It's nothing. I'm better now. InuYasha, you liked going out into the city, didn't you?"

"Hai. It felt good to do something."

Kagome needed to do what was best for InuYasha, no matter how scared she was to do it. "Do you…do you feel well enough to go back to the Sengoku Jidai? Would you like to meet our friends there?"

InuYasha stopped in front of the door to the house. "You think I can go back now?"

"Well, Sanzo-sensei said to surround you with familiar things, and you aren't as used to my time as you are your own. It may help your memory."

"When can we go?" he asked excitedly.

"Well, we will need some supplies. How about you and Mama go out again tomorrow and get them? That way I can go to school again."

In truth Kagome want to go with him, but he was so happy she knew her mother would be a better choice. She would be with him all the time they were in the past, she could wait one day.

"So then I can meet the people you talked about before?"

"Yep, though once we are there we could also be in danger, by the one that hurt you."

"That's okay," He said smiling down at her. "You'll be with me, won't you?"

She nodded. _Always._

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Hey, lookie, I ended this chp on a happy note. ::feels my forehead:: Am I sick or something? Me who loves toying with my readers emotions decided to be nice. Wow, I'm shocked. Anyway, yeah, we get to see the rest of the Inu group next time.

Just so people who haven't seen the jap version understand the thing with the honorifics, Inu never uses them. I think the only person I ever heard him use it to was Myouga and that was an insulting suffix. San is the equivalent to adding Miss or Mr., just politeness, and Inu really just either is that rude, or doesn't care about formalities and just says people's names. So for him to use them is extremely weird.

At least his instincts still work, though he is making a few mistakes in his interpretations of his relationships don't' ya think? I wonder if that will get him into trouble later.

So remember to review! Go AFF, give me the same response as last time. Ja


	3. Confused Reunion

Disclaimer: ::Finds letter in mailbox::

Dear Sessy-sama, please stop contacting us over the rights to InuYasha, you cannot have them.

::pouts::

::stares at AFF, rubs eyes and continues to stare:: 110 reviews for What's In A Name…for two chapters. That is 60 reviews for chp 2 alone…::proceeds to run up and hug all AFF people:: I love my other reviewers too, but can you beat 60 reviews for a chp? WIAN has more reviews than any of my other stories, on any site. Woohoo!

Well, onto the story…oh and since I have been asked a few times, there will not be any sex scenes. I don't write them, however there will be a fairly intimate scene later.

I give Kaede the suffix sama primarily because I am currently too lazy to go see if they says sama or baba. I will change later if it is wrong.

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InuYasha watched as Kagome laid out various items on the kitchen table. She was taking him back to the Sengoku Jidai the following morning and said she wanted to explain some things to him. InuYasha waited as she tried to think of anything else to show him. While she thought he took the opportunity to examine what she had brought.

The first thing to catch his eye was a bundle of red cloth that looked to be a folded hakama and haori. Beside it was a rather old and apparently highly used sword. The leather striping was torn and peeling from the hilt and the small piece of blade pulled out of the sheath looked scratched and cracked. How useful such a sword would be in combat he had no idea. He recognized it though, from the first day he woke up, Kagome had brought that and the third item for him to identify. The third item was a small jar containing a sliver of a lavender crystal; at least it looked like a crystal.

"I think this should do," Kagome said, pulling InuYasha from his study of the items. "InuYasha, do you recognize any of these?"

He hesitated a moment. "I know what they are, but I don't know what they are supposed to mean to me."

Kagome placed her hands on the red bundle and the sword hilt. "These are, your inheritance, you could say."

"Inheritance?" he asked quite confused. She had told him both his parents were dead, but she had never elaborated on it.

"This is what you normally wear," she said handing him the colored clothing. "It is made from the fur of the fire rat. It is extremely strong and resilient. It has saved yours, and my, life many times."

InuYasha ran his fingers over the smooth fur that made up the haori. It didn't feel like a fur really. It felt like normal cloth, but he supposed looks and feelings could be deceiving to him right now.

"And this," Kagome picked up the sword and removed it from the sheath as she spoke, "is Tessaiga."

"Tes…saiga?"

She nodded. "Tessaiga is a sword forged from one of your father's fangs. When wielded properly it has the ability to kill a hundred youkai in one stroke."

Suddenly, the clothes seemed less impressive. He carefully took the unsheathed blade from Kagome and examined it closer. It still looked like a rusted, battered sword about ready to break, yet it was capable of killing a hundred youkai in one swing? How? How could such a thing be possible?

"It is made from my father's fang?"

"Your father was said to be one of the most powerful youkai. He gave you Tessaiga in order to protect you."

"So, my father protects me even though he is dead? A pure youkai cared about a hanyou?"

InuYasha stopped at his own question. Why did it seem wrong for a youkai to care about a hanyou? Why did he feel there was something not right with being a hanyou? He barely even knew what a hanyou was when he woke up, yet some part of him was uneasy with the fact he was a hanyou.

"Youkai or human, both your parents cared about you. You never talked much about them, but from what I have learned of them, they seemed like very good people. Your father died before you were born, and your mother died when you were young."

"So I don't have any family."

"No, you do have one living relative, but you two don't get along well."

"Who is it?" This was the first time she mentioned anything about him having family and he was more than curious.

"You have an older half brother, Sesshoumaru. You two end up fighting whenever you see each other, though."

"Why?"

Kagome looked away. "Well, he doesn't like that you inherited Tessaiga. He wanted it but instead received Tenseiga."

"Tenseiga? Another sword, like mine?"

"Yes and no. Tenseiga was also forged from one of your father's fangs, but it is a sword of healing. It can even bring the dead back to life."

"And my brother is mad he got it?" InuYasha was rather confused again, he could use a healing sword about now. "Hey, you don't think he could put the past behind him and use this Tenseiga sword to try and heal me? Help me get my memory back?"

Kagome looked away again. "He would sooner kill you, I think. It would be best if we didn't run into Sesshoumaru until you are more used to everything."

"All that because of a sword?"

Kagome's fingers tapped against the tabletop. "It isn't completely about the sword. Sesshoumaru…he doesn't like the fact you are a hanyou. He thinks it taints your father's youkai blood."

He stared at the sword in his hands. Was that the reason for his unease? Did he somehow remember that? Did he remember that he was…hated…scorned…tormented? Why was he thinking that way? Was that the truth? Was that how he lived? Was that how everyone saw him…as some kind of half breed? How did he know those ideas…why remember those…no, not remember, he instinctively knew. Was he so hated that he could never forget it even when he knew nothing about himself?

"But then, your father didn't believe that. And maybe, one day, Sesshoumaru will understand too. He seems to be changing…slowly, very slowly, but he is different than when I first met him."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, he hates humans and everything about us, and when I first met him he would never even think of doing anything but killing any human who approached him. But now Rin-chan is with him."

"Rin-chan?" He knew Kagome didn't mean to say things he had no idea of, but it was slightly irritating having to ask something every time she spoke.

"Rin-chan is a human girl. We don't know how or why she is with Sesshoumaru, but she travels with him and he has even protected her. The Sesshoumaru I first met would never have done that."

InuYasha was getting a bit confused by everything. He had a brother that hated him and wanted his inheritance, but even though his brother says he hates humans he travels with a human girl. And for them to know all this they must have had a lot of contact with them, so did they just fight but never kill? Or did they try to kill but never succeeded? Or…what was the point of having a brother if they just wanted to kill each other? That was as bad as an enemy.

InuYasha set Tessaiga down and slowly massaged his right temple. His head always seemed to hurt when he was told too much at once.

"Are you alight?"

He nodded. "What's that?" he asked, pointing to the pale purple crystal.

"We'll get to that in a minute. There is more you need to know about Tessaiga."

"_More?_"

"Yes, Tessaiga has a second function other than just protection. It also acts as a barrier against your youkai blood." After a confused look from him, Kagome continued. "When your life is in danger your youkai blood instinctively takes over so you can protect yourself. You transform from your current appearance to a stronger, more deadly one, such as your claws and fangs lengthen and you become more powerful. The problem with that is your hanyou body can't control your youkai blood. You forget yourself when you are in that form."

"I already have forgotten myself. I think I know what that feels like."

Kagome shook her head. "This is much different from what you are now. You lose your rational thought. You know only to kill your enemy, but once transformed you no longer are able to distinguish friend from foe. Everyone is your enemy, so you try and kill anyone that comes near you."

"Even you?"

Kagome looked to Tessaiga. "It is very dangerous if you transform. Tessaiga stops that from happening. So once we are in the Sengoku Jidai you must be sure that you have Tessaiga with you, especially if we are attacked. It will protect you somewhat even if you are unable to bring out its full power."

InuYasha's unease increased at Kagome's reaction. If there is one thing he did remember it was no answer is usually confirmation. He would even attack Kagome in that other form. Why did that scare him so much? She was his safety…that was probably why.

He reached out and picked up Tessaiga again. This rusted piece of metal was supposed to do all that and more. It seemed ridiculous almost, but Kagome was serious.

"I'll make sure to keep it with me."

"Good. Now, this," she said picking up the small jar, "is a shard of the Shikon no Tama."

"Shikon…what?"

"Shikon no Tama. It enhances ones power, whether human or youkai, and has amazing abilities. On accident I shattered it and all the shards scattered. Now the jewel is almost completely whole."

"Uh, Kagome-san? That is almost whole?"

Kagome lowered her head till her bangs shadowed her soft, brown eyes. "No, this is just one shard. We aren't the ones who have most of the jewel. In fact, there are only two shards not restored to the jewel, this one and another we have. The other one is hidden though, so even if we lose this one we don't lose the last."

"Hidden?"

She nodded, though she still didn't look at him. "It is hidden in a place where it can't be corrupted."

"A jewel can be corrupted? How?"

"The Shikon no Tama can strengthen power for good or evil. When it is tainted with blood and hatred it becomes corrupted and more powerful for those who want to use it for evil."

"So the person who has most of the jewel is evil?" InuYasha asked, figuring he saw where this was leading.

"Yes, he is a very evil youkai named Naraku. All of us have suffered because of him. Sango-chan's entire village was destroyed because of him. Miroku-sama has the Kazaana curse on his right hand, that if Naraku isn't killed, will one day swallow him. And you, Naraku killed someone very dear to you a long time ago. You are after him for revenge."

Kagome sounded very bitter when she talked about his reason…or at least he thought she did. Perhaps not bitter, there was also a sense of…guilt? Was that what he had heard? Why did she sound that way?

"Why do you go after Naraku?" he asked, thinking that perhaps their reasons were connected. They seemed connected in other ways, so maybe their reasons were similar.

Kagome hid her face even further from him. "He has done so many horrible things. Killed so many innocent people, and…and I gave him the power to do so."

InuYasha didn't understand so he just remained silent waiting for her to explain.

"If I hadn't shattered the jewel it would never have gotten into his possession in the first place and it is from the jewel that he has gained so much power." She hesitated a moment. "In the end, I'm responsible for everything that has happened. That makes it my responsibility to find the jewel and stop Naraku. I have to do that much."

"It's not your fault," InuYasha said comfortingly.

It was the oddest of feelings, but for some reason he had to reassure her before she started crying. He couldn't stand the thought of her crying, especially since she had cried so much already.

Kagome smiled weakly but didn't raise her head. "That is kind of you to say, but it doesn't help that you don't remember what happened. You don't know everything."

"Then tell me!" he yelled more fiercely than he meant to. He calmed his tone before speaking again. "When I don't understand you have to tell me. Please, don't just say I don't understand…tell me what I don't know. I don't like not knowing. So even if it's a long story, tell me. Please, Kagome-san."

Suddenly, the sound of faint laughter filled his canine ears, which immediately flattened in disapproval. What was so funny about him not understanding?

"It's not funny," he stated rather crossly and with a firm pout on his face.

Kagome finally looked up at him and on her lips graced a truly happy smile. "Gomen, InuYasha, it's just that I realized I actually missed you yelling at me. This is the first time you have, and it sounded wonderful to hear."

"You're happy I yelled at you?"

"Very much, actually. You see, you and I…we often got into fights. Usually about nothing important, but us yelling at each other was pretty common. Normally, I would end up giving in and forgiving you, so in the end they were wastes of time. But, I didn't realize how much I missed hearing you yell, until you just did. I think…I think that is the first time I really _heard_ InuYasha in you."

InuYasha wasn't sure if he should be happy or annoyed. On one hand he was happy to know he was acting like himself, that was what he wanted; however, knowing that they fought so much made him confused at what their relationship was.

"Did we really fight all the time, Kagome-san?"

"Well, it wasn't like we got into a fight every five minutes. It's just that when we did fight, no one was surprised by it. But like I said, most were just a waste of time and we would get over it quickly enough."

"I guess that is a good thing then…that I yelled."

"I suppose so." Kagome's smile quickly faltered. "I forgot about that…I suppose I should explain that to you too."

"Explain what?"

Kagome leaned forward and pulled on the rosary necklace he wore. "The Kotodama rosary."

Now this InuYasha was interested in. Ever since he woke up the necklace had been on him and although he had quickly gotten used to it, he was intrigued as to why he wore it.

"I'm not sure how to completely explain this to you. You see, the Kotodama rosary…helps me keep you in line."

"Keep me in line?"

Kagome sighed and leaned back into her chair. "It is from we first met. When I first went to your time I was taken through the well by a youkai. She sensed the jewel in me and pulled me back into your time."

InuYasha interrupted her. "In you?"

"Yes, you see, the jewel originally was inside of my body. The youkai that dragged me back to your time was the one to remove it. Once in your time I saw you, only you were sealed to a tree at the time."

"I was sealed to a tree? Why was I sealed to a tree?"

"Well, you were originally after the jewel yourself, to become a full youkai. The miko protecting it ended up sealing you to protect the jewel." InuYasha thought he heard that tinge of guilt in her voice again.

"Wait, I thought you said the jewel was inside of you." InuYasha was getting confused.

"It was, but that is because I am the re-incarnation of the original miko who protected it. When she died the jewel was burned along with her body and when her soul was re-incarnated in me so was the jewel."

He shook his head. How confusing could this story get?

"Anyway, when I arrived in your time you had been sealed for fifty years."

"Fifty years! How old am I?"

Kagome bit her lower lip. "To be honest, I don't know exactly how old you are. I suppose you would be somewhere around your late sixties, maybe seventy. But you body is the same as when you were sealed."

InuYasha began rubbing his temples again. His head was really pounding now. He was sealed to a tree for fifty years, making him not only fifty years older than what he had thought, but also a bad guy. Good guys were not sealed to trees for fifty years. Was that why he had to be 'kept in line.' How was he supposed to be a 'good person' as Kagome's mother had said, how were his instincts supposed to want to help people, when he was nothing more than a greedy hanyou wanting more power? How was all that true?

"Do you want me to stop for now? We can finish this later if you want."

InuYasha shook his head. "No, just get it over with."

Kagome hesitated, her concern for him evident in her expression, but she finally continued. "You reacted to my power and were awakened, though still pinned to the tree, but when the youkai that had taken me came after the jewel once again, you told me you would kill it if I freed you. So I did."

"So I saved you," InuYasha said hopefully.

Kagome hesitated again. "You did, but then you came after me yourself to try and get the jewel.

"Oh." There went his hope.

"Kaede-sama used a spell to make you wear the rosary and after that if I say a certain word you will be…forced into submission."

Why didn't InuYasha like the sound of that? "And that is still necessary?"

"No. You would never hurt any of us now," Kagome said, blushing slightly. "But it has proved useful at other times. Sometimes you would try and go off even if you were too hurt and I would use it to stop you. Or you and Kouga-kun, he is a wolf youkai, you two get into stupid fights and I just say the word and it stops that. It has even stopped your transformation once. That's why I don't want to remove it. I know you won't try to hurt any of us, but if you transform it may be powerful enough to at least stall you."

He looked at her doubtfully. That sounded logical enough, and he didn't really have any other choice than to trust her decision, but there was one thing he wanted to know.

"Kagome-san, what does it do exactly?"

"Well, you fall to the floor, pulled by the necklace, very forcefully. The harsher I say the word the harder the spell pulls you."

InuYasha thought for a moment, but finally decided. "Say it, Kagome-san."

"What?"

"I don't just want to suddenly have something happen and not have any idea what is going on. If you say this word and it happens now at least I can be prepared and understand what is happening."

"InuYasha, are you sure about this?" He nodded and Kagome stood up. "The floor is softer in the other room. Let's go in there."

He followed, but was fairly sure he wasn't going to like this no matter what floor he fell onto. Kagome directed him to the center of the room away from the furniture and took a step back.

"Are you absolutely sure you want me to do this."

"Kagome-san. Say the word."

She closed her eyes and whispered in a barely audible voice, "Osuwari."

A faint glow appeared around his neck, and suddenly InuYasha was not being pulled, as Kagome said, or forced down, no InuYasha was being slammed into the floor below him. Instinctively his hands came in front to try and brace his fall but they were only yanked into the ground along with the rest of him. He couldn't breathe for a moment; he just sat there staring at the soft carpet. He had been right, it didn't help much at all. Slowly, he regained his composure and pushed himself into a sitting position. Kagome hurried over to him, concerned.

"InuYasha, are you all right?"

In the end, it wasn't that bad of an experience. Yes, it did hurt, and he was sure if she screamed that it could do some damage even, but that wasn't what shocked him the most. No, there was one thing that had made him really annoyed with the whole spell.

He looked directly into her eyes. "Kagome-san…the word is _osuwari_?"

"Well," she said fidgeting nervously, "it was all I could think of at the time."

"You say osuwari to an inu!" he yelled.

"Can you blame me for thinking it when you are running at me and I see those ears!"

InuYasha hadn't paid attention to her last statement, he was already looking away from her. "Gomen, Kagome-san. I shouldn't have yelled at you."

He felt her fingers pulling at his chin, forcing him to look at her. Kagome's brown eyes were gentle and calming, without a single trace of the anger she had shown a second before.

"InuYasha, if you want to yell, then yell. It is who you are. You were never a person to rely on formalities, when you were angry we all knew it because you would yell at us. So you don't have to apologize every time you get a little mad."

InuYasha looked down slightly but nodded. "All right."

Kagome stood and held out her hand to help him. Once they were both standing she smiled once more to him. "Why don't we get to bed. We can head out tomorrow morning and you will get to meet everyone. Do you have any last questions?"

"Who exactly are we meeting? I mean, who do we travel with? You named a lot of people. Do we travel with them all?"

"No, we travel with Miroku-sama, the houshi, Sango-chan, the taijiya, and Shippo-chan, the kitsune youkai. We will be meeting them, as well as Kaede-sama when we go over tomorrow."

"Not too many to get used to, I suppose. I hope I remember their names when I meet them."

Kagome's smile faltered for a moment but she quickly recovered it. It was enough for InuYasha to see what she was thinking though. He had been acting more like…more like what she had been used to. The yelling had probably made her think he was getting better, and perhaps that was what it meant, but he was still clueless about his past. No amount of instinct or emotion was going to make him remember the names of the people who are supposed to be his friends. It was a sad, but all too real, fact.

"Let's get to bed. I am sure tomorrow will be tiring. Everyone will probably have questions for you and I'm sure you will have plenty for them." He nodded. "Then let's get plenty of sleep. I'll see you in the morning."

Without warning, Kagome leaned in and hugged him. InuYasha wasn't exactly sure what to do, she had never done anything like this before.

"And don't worry," she whispered as she held him, "I'm sure you'll remember their names."

InuYasha relaxed beneath her. She was just trying to comfort him, and they were close…weren't they?

The next morning was full of activity in the shrine house. Kagome was hurrying to finish filling her yellow bag to what seemed like far beyond its breaking point. InuYasha was getting used to his _normal_ clothing, which were rather comfortable, just the sword he wasn't exactly used to carrying at his waist. Souta was heading out to school as Kagome's mother was finishing the last touches to a number of pack lunches. Not wanting to bother Kagome, and liking the smell of the food, InuYasha decided to watch Kagome's mother in the kitchen.

"Who are those for, Higurashi-san?" he asked as he eyed all the delicious looking food organized into the five boxes.

"For you and your friends. Since it is your first time back I thought you might like one last meal from over here."

"Arigato," InuYasha said as he licked his lips. They had already eaten breakfast, but the food look too good to deny at any time. He tired to take his mind off the food by talking. "Higurashi-san, do you know what kind of food we do eat in my time?"

That was the best question to stop thinking about food, but he couldn't help it, he was getting hungry.

"I'm not too sure. I sometimes worry how well Kagome eats over there, but she says it is plenty so I try not to nag too much."

"We eat what we catch. Fish, rabbit, things like that," Kagome said as she hurried into the kitchen and open up a bottom cabinet. "Mama, where did you put the instant ramen you bought yesterday?"

InuYasha's ears perked up at this. "We take ramen back with us?"

"Yeah, since it is so quick to make it works well for camping out."

Kagome's mother pointed to a box on the floor next to the counter. "I left them in the box since I knew you would be taking most of them."

"That's fine. Arigato, Mama." Kagome grabbed the box and hurried back up to her room.

There was definitely too much talk and smell of food for the hanyou and he decided it was best to go into the living room and wait for Kagome. After taking a moment to realize that the only way he was going to be able to sit was to remove the sword from his sash, InuYasha sat waiting. It didn't take more than a few seconds for him to get extremely bored either. He hated doing nothing; he had done too much of that the first dew days after he woke up.

Finally, after what felt like an hour, but was actually only about five minutes, Kagome came running down the steps, yellow bag slung over her shoulders. She waved him to join him as she headed for the kitchen.

"Mama, I'm all ready to go, so InuYasha and I are going to head back now."

"Don't forget to take the lunches," her mother told her as InuYasha entered the room.

"I won't." Kagome turned to InuYasha. "Will you grab the lunches for me?"

"Why don't I take you pack instead? It…it looks rather heavy."

"You don't have to, I'm used to it. Just grab the…"

InuYasha took hold of the large bag and refused to let go. "It seems really heavy, Kagome-san. I'll take it."

She stared at him a moment, then finally relented. "All right, then I'll take the lunches."

InuYasha took the oversized bag from her and slung it over his right shoulder as he waited for Kagome to get the food.

"Bye, Mama," Kagome said as she headed out of the house.

Her mother smiled at the two of them. "Have a good trip."

InuYasha gave her a short, half bow. "Arigato, Higurashi-san."

"Come back to us safe and sound this time."

"Hai." He nodded before going in pursuit of Kagome.

The two headed for a small building on the shrine property, which contained an old well. Kagome headed straight for the well and, after placing the lunches on the edge and climbing up herself, she waved InuYasha over.

"This thing is really going to take us 500 years into the past?" he asked doubtfully.

"Stranger things have happened, trust me."

He looked down to the dirt bottom. "If you say so."

Kagome helped him onto the edge before picking up the lunches. "Come on, everyone is probably worried sick about you."

She grabbed his arm with her free hand and before he could do anything to protest she yanked him into the well with her. Just as he was sure they were going to slam into the ground a faint blue light surrounded them and it was as if he was being pulled somewhere, or in this case when. Now if he had felt a stranger sensation he would have been shocked. Nothing could compare to both the rush it created or the confusion. There was no up or down, everything was the same and the only thing that kept them moving was that pulling force. Then, without warning, the world returned to them and he found himself standing at the bottom of the well, only he could see the sky above him.

"We…we're here?" he asked as he reoriented on his environment.

"Yup, we are now 500 years in the past. Less people, less noise, more youkai, but at least there is clean air and rivers."

"How do we get out of the well?"

Kagome pointed to some vines growing along the wall. "Normally I would just climb out, but you can just jump us out, if you would."

"Just jump?"

She nodded and moved closer to him so he could grab her around the waist. It felt rather weird, holding her so close to him, but he was more afraid of dropping her so he held tighter than perhaps was necessary. Unsure of exactly how high he could jump, and definitely not wanting to make too short of a jump and thereafter look foolish, InuYasha used as much force as he could.

The result, Kagome's nervous laughter ringing in his ears as they soared into the air, passing above the trees, and getting a very beautiful view of the landscape.

"How the hell can I jump this high!" InuYasha screamed in shock.

"You're a hanyou," she replied between her giggling fits. "You will need to get used to your strength."

As the climax of the jump came and they began their decent a new problem arose. "Kagome-san, how do I land?"

Her nervous laughter increased. "Other than on your feet I have no idea."

"Great, just great."

To make matters worse he had jumped straight up, which meant they were heading right back for the well, and he was sure that would not be fun to crash into.

"Don't think about it," Kagome said. "Just land."

He laughed to himself. Don't think about it. Easier said than done, and the ground was coming upon them fairly quickly now. Don't think. Right. Don't think, just land. He had probably done this a hundred times, just land. They sure were falling faster now. Without any more options InuYasha closed his eyes and prayed his instincts kicked in.

Contact. InuYasha opened one eye and looked down. He was standing on the well rim perfectly balanced. He closed his eye again and let out a sigh of relief. They hadn't crashed to the ground. It would have been pretty embarrassing to get hurt again in the first five second they were in his time.

"Um, InuYasha, can you let go of me?" Kagome asked in an airy whisper. "I can't breathe."

InuYasha immediately loosened his hold and set her down on the ground next to the well. "Gomen, I didn't meant to do that."

"It's okay," she said after taking a deep breath. "You haven't really used your strength since you woke up. It's perfectly understandable you don't know how much you can do."

He sat on the well and took a moment to think. Being that high had let him see the land and it was completely different from Kagome's world. Forests covered the area and in the distance was a small village. Not the city he had gone to, but a small farming village, the kind InuYasha had been expecting. Somehow he felt a bit more comfortable just see that. It felt…right.

"You ready to meet everyone?" Kagome asked smiling.

He took one last breath and nodded. Kagome took his hand and began leading him through the forest. He couldn't help but wonder how his 'friends' would react to the _new_ InuYasha. He shook it off and focused on remembering who he was meeting.

There was Miroku. He was the houshi. That should be easy enough to recognize, as long as he dressed like a houshi that was. Then there was…Sango, the taijiya. What did taijiya wear? He would just hope she was the only woman who came near him, that would help. There was also a kitsune youkai, Shippo. Well, that should be pretty easy, see a kitsune, it is Shippo. And Kaede, but she was supposed to be a miko, so he hoped she was the only one in town. If she wasn't…he would just pray she was.

Soon enough the forest ended and they entered the fields just outside of the village. A number of people working called out greetings to them, which Kagome answered. InuYasha just tried to take in everything around him. The air smelled a lot fresher than in Kagome's time, and she had been right, there wasn't half as much noise, only the wind and the random chatter of people in the distance.

"So, what do you think?" Kagome asked taking him from his thoughts.

"This is what I was expecting when Higurashi-san took me out."

She laughed at him. "That must have been a shock for you then."

"It was, but your world was interesting. I like it here though, it feels…"

"Like home?"

He looked down at her and nodded. "Hai."

They continued on but by the time they had reached the outskirts of the village the noise had increased, specifically the yelling of three voices. A man and a woman were hurrying to meeting them, but he couldn't seem to locate the third voice till it was too late.

"InuYasha!" a high pitched voice called as a small furry creature leapt for him.

Confused at what the thing was and why in the world it had catapulted itself right for him InuYasha raised his hand and knocked it to the ground before it could get to him. The small creature landed hard against the ground and looked up at him. With it still InuYasha was finally able to identify that _it_ was actually a he, a small boy, or rather, a small kitsune. Damn. Shippo. InuYasha hadn't expected him to be so small.

The kitsune's eyes filled with tears and he ran over to Kagome who had wisely put down the lunches in order to comfort the young boy.

"Really, InuYasha, was that necessary?" The man…the houshi…Miroku said. "Shippo has been worried sick about you."

"The last thing we heard was you were unconscious, can you blame him for being happy to see you," the woman scolded. InuYasha hoped she was Sango, because otherwise he was at a loss for who she could be.

Great first meeting so far. InuYasha approached Kagome and the weeping child and held out his hand. "Gomen, I didn't mean to hit you like that."

The boy immediately ceased his crying and slowly turned to face InuYasha. To the side he could see both man and woman staring at him in shock. Now what did he do wrong? Shippo looked from InuYasha to Kagome then back to InuYasha.

"Are you sure you are better?" he finally asked.

InuYasha dropped his head and began rubbing his right temple again. It was that obvious something was wrong? "Kagome-san, if you could explain, please."

The kitsune latched onto his haori and stared into InuYasha's downcast eyes. "What did you just say?"

"Kagome-san," he pleaded.

Kagome took the confused boy back into her arms as InuYasha tried to stop the pounding above his eyes. Things definitely were not going as well as he had hoped.

"InuYasha, isn't completely better," Kagome began. "His body is healed, but the injury to his head damaged his memory. He doesn't remember anything about himself or any of us. That's why we waited a few days before coming back."

A silence followed and InuYasha finally looked back up to everyone. He knew he shouldn't have. All three were staring at him in disbelief, while Kagome tried her best to look comforting. It wasn't helping him.

"You don't know who we are?" the woman…Sango asked.

"I know what Kagome-san has told me."

"Why are you calling her Kagome-san? You call her Kagome," Shippo said.

InuYasha looked away slightly. Why couldn't he call her that? He didn't know her!

"It's all right, Shippo-chan," Kagome said. "Until he gets to know us he can say what he is most comfortable with. We are all strangers to him."

That's right, they weren't used to this yet. It took Kagome a while to get used to him saying it, so he just needed a little patience as they adjusted. Kagome brought the kitsune up to him.

"InuYasha, this is Shippo-chan and I believe he is very happy to see you are alive."

InuYasha held out his hand again. Now that he knew who the boy was InuYasha didn't mind if he was with him. Shippo looked at Kagome who nodded before scrambling over to InuYasha.

"Hello, Shippo-kun."

"You really don't know me?" he asked with tears in his eyes.

InuYasha shook his head. "To me this is the first time I have ever met you."

Shippo grabbed his haori and veritably tried to bury his head between the folds. "At least you are still alive!"

InuYasha placed a hand on the shaking boy's back and tried to comfort him as best as he could. Kagome picked up the lunches and motioned for them all to head into the village.

"Why don't we go to Kaede-sama's to talk. I'm sure she'd like to know what is going on as well."

They all nodded and started for the village. A few people greeted them as they passed, but most just kept to their business. Was it really this common for a hanyou to be walking in town, or was it just him? At the entrance to a small hut stood an old woman dressed like a miko. Kaede. At least she was easy to identify.

"InuYasha," she said when they were close enough, "it is good to see that you recovered."

He just looked to Kagome who smiled weakly at the woman. "There is a lot to explain, Kaede-sama."

The group went into the hut and Kagome began the long story on exactly what had happened to him, and what the possible outcomes were. All the while Shippo stayed with InuYasha, and he had to admit, the kitsune was rather comforting to have. It wasn't as much anything the boy did, in fact he had sat very still as Kagome talked, it was more it seemed…normal to have him nearby. Perhaps not in his lap as Shippo was at the moment, but near. It was nice to have something feel normal.

When Kagome was finished everyone took a moment to take in the information. Kaede was the first to speak.

"So, you may never regain your memory of your life?"

"That is what Sanzo-sensei said. But he also told us it might just be a matter of time. He said the best thing for me would be to be surrounded with things that I'm familiar with."

"Well," Miroku said, "it's like Shippo said earlier. At least you're alive. We will just have to wait and see whether or not you regain your memory. We will help you in any way, of course."

Sango nodded. "That's right. You're our friend and we can't just leave you. If you need help just ask us."

"Arigato, Sango-san, Miroku-sama."

"That's still weird," Shippo said from his place in InuYasha's lap. "You never use to say anything after a person's name."

"Anyone's?" he asked confused. He had thought it was just Kagome and her family.

Kagome smiled. "Like I said, you were never concerned with formalities."

"I see."

Once again he was confused about his relationship with Kagome. He had thought that everyone was shocked by his reference to her because they were close and it didn't matter, but now it was just because he didn't use honorifics, so what did that make Kagome to him? He began rubbing his temple again. This throbbing was getting annoying.

"Why don't we have the lunch Mama packed for us while we talk more?" Kagome said seeming to take notice of his new habit.

"It's mid day already?" InuYasha asked taking a look out the small window to see the sun indeed high in the sky. Though that hardly mattered as just the mention of food made him hungry from the memory of what was packed in the small boxes.

They talked for most of the day, each of them telling him about themselves and how they had met him. They explained more about Naraku and the jewel and what they were doing now that all the jewel shards were found. According to them Naraku was after them as much as they were after Naraku. Since they were the ones with the last two shards Naraku was becoming more desperate to obtain them. That was how he had been hurt. Hakudoushi, a person created from Naraku, had attacked them in hopes of stealing the last two shards.

"But you don't have one of the shards with you, right." InuYasha turned to Kagome. "You have one hidden away."

She quickly nodded. "That's right, so even if they get the one we carry they can't complete the jewel."

The others looked at Kagome strangely but none tried to correct her. Sango gazed out of the hut.

"Kagome-chan, would you like to go take a bath at the lake. It has warmed up quite a bit and I am sure the men would have plenty to talk about without us here."

InuYasha didn't want to admit it but he very much liked that idea. He could ask Miroku about his relationship with Kagome. He didn't want to ask Kagome herself in case it wasn't what he was thinking it was. Kagome looked doubtful though.

"It's ok, Kagome-san. I will be fine here," InuYasha said cheerfully.

"All right, a swim at the lake sounds rather nice."

Sango turned to InuYasha, "And don't let Houshi-sama out of your sight. For that matter don't let him out of the hut. He was born a lecher and would like nothing more than to watch us bathe."

"Sango, please, do you really think I would take advantage of our friend's condition like that?"

"Absolutely!"

Miroku shrunk down defeated. InuYasha waited as Kagome retrieved a few things from her bag and left with Sango. Once they were gone Kaede also left saying she had duties to attend to. Whether that was true or she was just letting InuYasha have some time alone with Miroku, he really didn't care.

"Miroku-sama, can I ask you something personal?"

Miroku turned his attention from the direction the girls had gone to InuYasha. "Of course, if I know the answer I will tell you."

"What exactly is my relationship with Kagome-san?"

The houshi started fidgeting with his robes. "Well that is quite uncertain. What has Kagome-sama said of it?"

"Nothing much. That's why I'm confused. It seems like we are close, but I can't tell how close."

"Well, Kagome-sama is probably the person you are closest with; however, there are complications."

"Complications?"

"Kikyou," Shippo said rather solemnly.

"Who is Kikyou?"

Both Shippo and Miroku tensed up. "InuYasha, what has Kagome-sama told you of why you are after Naraku?"

He looked at Miroku confused. "She said that he killed someone I loved long ago and I was after him for revenge."

"Yes, well, Kikyou-sama would be that person. You had loved her before you were sealed and a part of you is still very connected to her. You won't let yourself let go of her and thus there are complications with your relationship with Kagome-sama."

"I can't let go of my love for someone who is dead?"

Miroku once again fidgeted with his robes. "That would be the problem."

Shippo looked about as confused as InuYasha. "Miroku…"

The kitsune was silenced with a glance from the houshi. Why did InuYasha get the feeling they were hiding something form them. He shook off the notion and returned to his conversation with Miroku. At least now he was able to understand a little more about Kagome.

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Sango looked at her friend resting in the cool water. There seemed to be quite a bit she had purposefully kept from InuYasha.

"Kagome-chan?"

"What?" she responded without opening her eyes.

"Why didn't you tell InuYasha where the second shard is?"

Kagome opened her eyes but still didn't look at Sango. "I can't let that happen again. I can't watch him like that again. He nearly died because of the shard, because he was protecting the shard."

"He was protecting you, Kagome-chan."

"All the more reason he shouldn't know about the last shard!" Kagome yelled, tears fighting at the corners of her paled brown eyes. "I can't let him do that again. You didn't see him as we tried to clean him up. There was so much blood and so many wounds. And I waited so long, not knowing if he was even alive still. I couldn't do anything for him. I won't let that happen again."

"Kagome-chan."

"As long as he doesn't know he won't worry about it. He has so much to learn about himself. There is so much I couldn't tell him. You saw him rubbing his head, just trying to explain about the first time I met him confused him, and he seems to be in pain when he gets too confused. I haven't even told him about Kikyou. How am I supposed to explain that! But, but if I don't tell him I'm just denying the fact that he is in love with her."

Sango wadded across the water and pulled Kagome against her, letting her cry out all the frustrations she had kept inside. Sango knew this wasn't hard just on InuYasha, Kagome was hurting too.

"Give it time. InuYasha needs time to adjust too. We can explain about Kikyou when he is able to completely understand. There is no point trying to tell him before he is ready. We can explain about everything when he is ready."

"But, like this, he is so kind. I know he is confused, but I also know he thinks we are more than we are. I want it to be true, but I can't bare him remembering her and leaving me again! And he will! He always goes back to her, and how am I supposed to explain why I never told him she was still alive. But how do I tell him that she is alive! I just don't know what to do."

Sango could almost feel the Kagome's pain washing over her. If InuYasha regained his memory before they told him about Kikyou he might think Kagome was trying to trick him, but if they told him before he remembered he might want to meet Kikyou and Kagome would be hurt even more. More than that, InuYasha had trouble understanding everything, so how were they supposed to explain that not only was Kikyou both dead and alive, but that Kagome was her re-incarnation. These were not simple things to understand.

Sango looked down to her friend again. "Like you said, we shouldn't overwhelm him. We will just take this one day at a time and see what happens. That is all we can do for now."

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Ok, this was seriously longer than I intended, but I didn't realize how long explaining things to InuYasha would be. Every time I said something I realized he didn't know something else and had to add more explanation. That is the downside to an amnesiac Inu, you have to explain things to him. And then I really wanted the part at the end with Sango and Kagome so you understood why she had been so vague about Kikyou and stuff. Prolly left you with the question of where in the world is this last shard. Heehee _I'm not telling!_ Not yet at least.

If anyone is wondering, (mainly cause my neechan asked me forever ago and I just suddenly remember it) the title comes from the way Inu talks to everyone, as in adding the honorifics. That is also the reason I have to go by the jap version, otherwise the effect just isn't there. But yeah, the title will make more sense as Inu's memory problem progresses or fixes. I'm not giving that away. Be all vague, yes. I can neitehr confirm no deny anything about inu's further memory. Ok, I can tell it is 5 am here and I need sleep, yes!

Well, remember to REVIEW!

Ja..no, Oyasumi! (editing will be done tomorrow after I wake up)


	4. First Encounter

Disclaimer: I don't own 'em. (Damn, honey, that's pretty lame for one of our disclaimers…I was in the hospital yesterday, so sue me. [Note: me and my neechan talking.])

Sorry for the lateness and all. Lets's see, other work, moving back to college, classes, work, and I have been sick for the last four days and was in the hospital yesterday. So yeah, go illness!

Thanks to _everyone_ who has reviewed and supported this story, and for all of you who have been waiting patiently (and you who haven't been so patient). I love you all! Yey for you! (collapses into unconsciousness) Hmm perhaps I shouldn't do that till I am completely better. Yes. Ok, onto the story. I wonder who Inu will meet up with today.

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Five days had passed since Kagome had returned to the Sengoku Jidai with InuYasha and things were…progressing. InuYasha had yet to regain any of his memories, but he was learning very quickly about his life with them. They had taken a day to help him adjust to his strength and skills by having him spar a bit against Sango, Miroku, and Kirara. It helped him considerably to understand what a few of his limits were, and also how to control it all.

Two days ago they had headed out of the village for the first time since their return and Kagome couldn't help but find his reactions amusing. She had been afraid he would have trouble adjusting after staying at the shrine and then Kaede's, but he was either too enthralled in another story one of them was telling him, or too interested in the landscape to be bothered by anything else.

His headaches were still there, and even when he tried to hide them Kagome noticed. He was trying so hard to return to normal and remember but it still wasn't returning to him. He still used the honorifics. He still apologized when he got mad. He still couldn't produce the fang blade of Tessaiga. He still wasn't the InuYasha she knew and a part of her was frightened by the thought he may never again be that person she loved. A part of her was beginning to wonder if she could love _this_ InuYasha, while another even smaller, extremely hidden part of her wondered if _this _InuYasha would love her.

She scolded that part of herself. Kagome didn't want to trick him into loving her or think that the only way he ever could want to be with her is if he wasn't the InuYasha she knew. Was it really InuYasha that would love her then, if this person did? Could she really call him InuYasha?

It was hard to keep those thoughts from coming to her. During the days she was fairly preoccupied with helping him and didn't think much on it, but at night, when the rest of them were asleep and she could feel him staring at her, it was difficult to hold back her emotions.

Today was different though. Today they were out in the countryside like they used to. They had told InuYasha it was to go look for clues about Naraku's whereabouts and to keep the village from being too much of a target since Naraku wanted the Shikon shards. In truth, Kagome never wanted to see Naraku or any of his unholy creations ever again, even if it meant never restoring the Shikon no Tama. She…was terrified.

"Kagome-san!" InuYasha called out, bringing Kagome from her thoughts. "Sango-san says we should make camp here for the night."

"Okay. How about you and Miroku go gets us some firewood and we'll make ramen for dinner."

InuYasha's smile brightened and he nodded to her before going back to Sango and the others. Shippo hurried over to the distracted miko as the two men wandered off into the woods.

"Kagome, are you all right? You haven't been like yourself today," the young kitsune asked with childish concern.

She shook the thoughts from her mind. "It's nothing, just thinking."

Kagome picked him up and headed over to Sango to get the pot ready for dinner. As she and Sango prepared everything, she sent Shippo out to get water from a nearby stream. It seemed the boy wasn't the only one to notice Kagome's unusually solemn disposition.

"Kagome-chan," Sango said as they waited for the others to return, "how are you handling everything? You seemed rather depressed today."

"Just thinking, that's all," she lied trying to pass off her worries. Sango would not be as simple to convince as Shippo.

The taijiya eyed her closely. "InuYasha doesn't seem to be getting much better, his memories, I mean. He is learning, but nothing from the past has returned. It must be hard on him, and you."

Kagome remained silent and refused to look her friend in the eye.

"The only thing that does seem to be improving," Sango continued, "is his relationship with you. I wouldn't be surprised if in a few weeks he stopped saying 'san' after your name. He depends on you a great deal."

Why did Sango have to realize what was bothering her. At least she didn't know, or at least didn't say, Kagome's fear about loving him.

"I'm sure, with your help, even if he doesn't remember, he will be happy."

So maybe Sango _did_ know some of her fear and was just not saying it bluntly. Hearing it from Sango though helped to calm Kagome a little. She wasn't the only person who was thinking about the possibility of _this_ InuYasha being the only one they would ever have again. It also made her realize that most likely InuYasha was thinking the same thing. Would she accept him as he was? She had asked herself if she could many times, but he must be very worried about the same thing.

Kagome nodded slightly. "If that happens, I hope he can be."

They sat there talking for a few more moments before they heard frantic screams coming from the direction of the stream.

"Kagome! Kagome!" Shippo's terrified cried brought both women to their feet. "Kagome, he's coming! I smell him!" The small boy leapt into Kagome's arms and struggled to speak between labored breaths. "Kagome…he's…near."

"Who? Naraku?"

He shook his head and looked up to her, his face a deathly white. "Kouga is coming."

Kagome didn't even have time to realize the severity of the situation before a whirl of dust was settling around her feet. Two strong hands had forced the kitsune from his place against Kagome's chest and taken a hold of her wrists. She could feel callused thumbs gently caressing the inside of her palms.

"Kagome, you have been away for a long time. I couldn't find your scent anywhere. With Naraku after you so much now I was beginning to worry that worthless dog shit had let something terrible happen to you."

Kagome smiled hesitantly up at Kouga's worried face. "I'm just fine. Something happened and I have been in my time for a while."

Normally, she would have found it slightly sweet the way he worried about her, but right now Kouga wasn't exactly the person she had hoped InuYasha would meet first, or maybe she didn't want him to meet anyone this soon.

"Something happened? Were you hurt? I'll kill that dog shit if he let you get hurt." Kagome was about to speak when Kouga looked around the small camp they had made. "Where is dog shit anyway? I would have thought he could smell me by now, even for a hanyou."

"Kouga-kun," Kagome pleaded as she failed to remove her hands from his grip, "there are a few things you need to know about InuYasha now. We were attacked by…"

"Kouga is here I see," Miroku's half-cheerful, half-nervous voice interrupted her.

Both Kouga and Kagome turned to see Miroku striding over to them as InuYasha put down the firewood he carried, his eyes glancing up at the hold Kouga still had on her.

"Oh, you were off being a good puppy and fetching firewood," Kouga taunted a slightly confused InuYasha. "What, no stupid come back?"

"Kouga-kun," Kagome said firmly as she yanked her hands from his grasp. "InuYasha was hurt and has lost his memory. He doesn't remember any of us or anything about his life. He only knows what we have told him."

A single eyebrow rose with the slightest of smirks, both of which were hastily replaced with a concerned expression that Kagome knew was fake.

"He doesn't remember anything? That's horrible." He gently pushed Kagome aside and approached InuYasha. "So you don't know who I am?"

InuYasha looked to Kagome for a moment before answering. "I only know what Kagome-san and the others have told me of you."

"Kagome…san?" Kagome thought she saw the smirk return for a second but from her angle it was difficult to be certain. "Well, I should be proper and introduce myself. I am Kouga, _leader_ of the wolf youkai tribe."

Why was Kagome having bad visions of where this was going? Her fears tripled as Kouga placed a playful arm around InuYasha's shoulders and started whispering to him. Her imagination was finding new and amazing things he could be telling InuYasha, and considering they had been holding hands when he arrived there was no telling what the hanyou was thinking.

"What do you say?" Kouga's cheery voice brought Kagome back to reality.

InuYasha looked at the wolf with a disinterested expression on his face. "If that is what Kagome-san wants, that's fine."

Kagome's mind returned to the terrifying insanity that she wished would just consume her, so she wouldn't have to know what exactly Kouga was about to ask her. Kouga's smirk returned with enthusiasm as he hurried over to once again take Kagome's hands into his own.

"My dear Kagome, seeing that InuYasha…" Kagome tensed. He had used InuYasha's name in a far too friendly tone. "…is unable to properly protect you I believe it is in your best interest that I remain with you until Naraku is destroyed or our friend's memories return."

Yes, she definitely wanted to kill herself at that moment, but one thing gave her hope. _If that is what Kagome-san wants._ She still had the chance to refuse.

"Kouga-kun I don't believe that is necessary. Sango and Miroku are more than capable of fighting, and so am I. Besides, I'm sure your pack needs your _excellent leadership_."

The youkai's brow scrunched together as she refused his protection but it was quickly returned to its more relaxed state.

"I see, you are truly a wonderful person, Kagome. Always thinking about our pack." Kagome desperately ignored the word _our_ in his statement. "But my concern for you is never ending, so I shall at least stay tonight then return in the morning."

Kagome wanted to kick herself for not being able to get rid of him tonight. She had known they would have to meet, but that wasn't the way she wanted it to happen.

Time slowed to a near stop that night as Kouga _talked_ with InuYasha. He told them (a rather biased) version of how he had met Kagome and them, making sure to avoid the words 'kidnapped' or 'against her will' and emphasize words like 'mine' and 'part of the pack.' Sango and Miroku helped to remind Kouga of the less than noble ways he went about acquiring Kagome's assistance and Shippo had a few complaints about his wolves trying to eat him. Little seemed to phase the silver haired hanyou though. He sat, quieter than normal, listening to everyone telling different versions of the same stories, rubbing his head at times, but never speaking up or asking many questions.

Kagome soon found her lungs were heavy and it was difficult to breathe smoothly. Paying attention to the forced rise and fall of her chest was all she could do to keep from crying, and she used every ounce of her will to do that. All the times she had yelled at InuYasha, fought with him, scolded him, all the times she had 'sat' him for being jealous over Kouga's attention to her…and now, all she wanted was for him to be mad at that moment. She wanted him to jump up and try to punch Kouga, try to hit him with Tessaiga, or just yell…just yell once.

He didn't though. InuYasha simply sat listening, a vacant look in his eyes. The last time she had seen that look was the first few days after he woke up. So why? Why did he look so distant now? Why did she feel something had changed in the few hours since Kouga had arrived? Or was she just afraid they had?

Sango managed to get them all to sleep early that night, which thankfully cut Kouga's stories short. He tried his best to convince Kagome to sleep next to him, but Shippo had firmly taken that role and refused to relinquish his post. Kagome held the young kitsune to her tighter than normal; with her previous worries and now the ones concerning Kouga, she struggled not to cry that night.

As the others fell asleep, her mind raced with things that could happen the next day once Kouga left. She wondered what InuYasha would be like towards her, or what he might ask her. Would he believe all Kouga's boasting, but how could she explain that she didn't want to be with him, but couldn't be with InuYasha. That would mean she would have to explain about Kikyou. Why did it seem so hard to breathe?

"Kagome-san." InuYasha's soft voice shocked her. She hadn't thought anyone was still awake. "Kagome-san?"

She slowly opened her eyes but no matter how many times she blinked she couldn't seem to focus on his image. A gentle hand brushed over the side of her nose cleaning away the tears she hadn't realized she was crying out. He continued to wipe her face and Kagome couldn't help but be surprised how different his hands felt from Kouga's. They were both rough and slightly callused, using a sword or fighting constantly would do that to the hands, but Kouga's hold was always firm and powerful, meant to hold her to him. InuYasha's fingers were comfortingly light and brief, yet gentler than she could remember. Was this really her InuYasha?

"Kagome-san, are you better?"

If she hadn't felt foolish already for crying she did then for not realizing she had stopped. She nodded her head slightly causing a simple smile to form on his face.

"Don't worry, Kagome-san. I may not be as good as I was, but I will still protect you. So no crying."

Was this really her InuYasha? How could she even question that? Her InuYasha hated to see a woman cry, and so did _this_ InuYasha. Of course he is her InuYasha, he just didn't know how to show that, and she was a fool for forgetting it.

"Right. I don't know why I was even crying," she lied.

"You worry about me too much. I'll be fine as long as I have help. Go to sleep." With that said, he stood up and returned to his place on the other side of the fire.

Somehow just having him come over for that moment, to speak so kindly to her, it was all she needed to calm her fears. Whatever he was thinking about Kouga it didn't matter, he still wanted to stay with her. He was afraid she didn't think he could take care of himself. That he couldn't take care of her. It really was amazing how two people could see the same encounter so differently.

Kagome slept the rest of the night with ease and awoke to Shippo trying to free himself from her grip. Kouga was talking in a hushed voice to InuYasha as Sango and Miroku had yet to wake. Wanting to keep Kouga from blatantly saying 'stay away from Kagome, she's my woman' Kagome hurried to interrupt their conversation.

"Kouga-kun," she said rather sweetly. "Can you go get us some water from the stream?"

The wolf looked disappointed he was being removed from his prey but didn't refuse Kagome's request. As he left Kagome smiled at InuYasha.

"He isn't bothering you, is he? I know he is acting pretty friendly, but you two didn't get along too well."

"I know."

Kagome looked at him confused. "You know?"

"You told me once, but even if you hadn't, it is pretty obvious he doesn't like me too much. Everything he says is slanted towards him and I usually end up rather foolish or submissive. From what all of you told me that didn't seem right, and since everyone was correcting his story last night, I figured he was just saying what he wanted."

"Yeah, Kouga-kun can be helpful at times, but he can also be a bit pushy with his feelings. I guess it is nice to be able to say what you feel, but you have to respect the other person as well."

"You don't like him around?" InuYasha asked more concerned than confused.

"It isn't that I don't like him around. It is just that having him nearby often caused fights between you two, especially when he would hold my hands or give me something. You never liked him and you really got furious when he would do that."

"But, do you want him to do that?"

His question caught her off guard slightly. InuYasha had always just started fighting right when Kouga did something; he never asked her if she wanted it before. "I suppose it's nice at times, but I have no intention of returning the feelings he has towards me. It feels rather wrong to be so close when nothing will happen."

The sound of Kouga returning cut their conversation short and also woke Sango and Miroku. Breakfast was actually enjoyable as Kagome placed herself between Kouga and InuYasha and the wolf had quieted down from his earlier boastings. She couldn't help but be relieved when they finished the meal and it was time for Kouga to leave. It was just easier on them all if he wasn't there right then.

As he was about to depart, Kouga took hold of one of her wrists while placing his other hand on her shoulder. "Kagome, are you sure you can fight off Naraku if he attacks now? InuYasha can't use his sword and Naraku will use that to his advantage if he finds out."

"Don't worry, we'll be fine."

He pulled her into a closer embrace, his hand sliding down her shoulder to grip her upper arm. "I can't help but worry for you now that InuYasha is unable to properly protect you. It would be better if I could stay with you."

Kagome was about to politely refuse his offer, again, but stopped when a clawed hand grabbed Kouga's forearm. InuYasha removed Kouga's hand from her arm and carefully edged between them.

"Kagome-san said we're fine. It's time you returned to your pack."

Shippo hopped onto a shocked Miroku's shoulder as they all watched InuYasha for the first time looking…serious. By his expression Kouga was not pleased InuYasha was acting…like InuYasha.

"I wasn't talking to you dog shit."

InuYasha pushed Kouga further back, forcing him to release his hold on Kagome's wrist. She stared at InuYasha's face confused. That wasn't the angry InuYasha that fought with Kouga over something stupid. When he was mad there was always this desire for rash action, to fight and get it over with right then, but that wasn't the look she saw in him at that moment. His eyes were calm and cold. If anything he reminded her of Sesshoumaru, with a perfectly serious, collected expression that told you to do what he said or he would kill you.

"Kagome-san said for you to go back to your pack."

Kouga back up once more. It seemed even he saw the difference from the normal InuYasha and wasn't sure if he wanted to test this one. He yanked his arm from InuYasha's grip and turned to the side arrogantly.

"Like I need you to tell me that. I'll come by again soon and make sure doggy boy here hasn't let you get hurt, Kagome. Ja."

InuYasha stepped back so that he was completely blocking Kagome from Kouga's view. The way held himself, so high and strong…his body poised, yet determined…his hands settled just above the hilt of his sword, as if he had no hesitation in how to wield it…and his eyes, his dark, amber eyes which shadows from clouded sky above played and danced over, as if to emphasize the moment when time stops for everything but the earth itself. That moment, those eyes…she had seem them before.

Kagome stared at his eyes, forgetting where she was, what she was doing, and just existing in the fragment of time lost in his eyes. Dust swirled around her feet and the wind controlled the free strands of hair surrounding her face, but Kagome didn't comprehend any of it.

Slowly, the world broke from its timeless existence and those terrible… deadly… serious… cold… hollow eyes turned one last time to look into her helpless face. The blood stained his tanned skin a deep crimson shade and dripped into his open mouth, which was already filled with the scarlet water choking him…killing him. His body fell in time with the drops of bloody saliva falling from his chin. One drop, he collapsed to his knees. Another drop, dust flew up from the impact of his body hitting the ground. And those hollow, deadly…dead eyes stared at her.

__

"Kagome-san!"

"Kagome!"

"Kagome-chan!"

"Kagome-sama!"

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Now, InuYasha had been _very_ confused _many_ times since he first woke up in Kagome's time with no memory of himself, but _never_ had he been so confused and **afraid** as when Kagome collapsed, screaming, behind him. She voice was so desperate and her eyes…so distant. It was like no matter what anyone said, no matter what he said, she couldn't be reached.

But, if Kagome's attack wasn't confusing enough, his reaction left him completely dumbfounded. He had held her. Now, that might have been what she needed, because she did calm down…or rather she stopped screaming and passed out…and no one else thought much of it. She was scared and it is normal to comfort them. He wouldn't have cared either, except, he hadn't done it.

The instant Kagome began screaming his body went to her on its own. It wrapped his arms around her body and held her. He hadn't even realized what he was doing till he was on the ground with Kagome shaking against him. His body was terrified, more than he was even. He felt the pure, unbearable fear pressing him from the inside, and had his body not moved on its own he wasn't sure that he would have been able to move at all.

As horrible of a thing to think InuYasha was glad it happened if only for one reason, he learned something very important about his relationship with Kagome. He knew that not just himself, but InuYasha, the InuYasha he was before…the one he wanted to return to…both of them would be lost, probably even die themselves, if anything happened to Kagome. He finally understood why he was willing to suffer and die for her, why he let himself be put into the state he was now.

He needed her.

Now, he just wished he knew if he loved her.

InuYasha returned to the small camp and approached Miroku and Shippo who were sitting some distance from the two talking women. Kagome had woken up a few minutes earlier and Sango was trying to find out what had happened. InuYasha had been worried he had frightened her and was staying away from them both. He sat next to the young houshi and watched the scared expression on Kagome's face.

"Can you hear what they are saying?" Miroku asked as the kitsune leapt into InuYasha's lap.

InuYasha absentmindedly placed a hand on Shippo's head. "Only a few words, not enough to figure out what happened."

"Kagome-sama appears to have calmed down much since she woke up. It seems she will be fine."

"She is terrified."

Miroku stared at him shocked for a moment. "You seem to have become close to Kagome-sama."

"It's not that," he said, never looking away from the young woman. "It's just, I can…smell it. She is covered in fear."

"I see." Miroku laughed a soft, melancholy laugh. "You are just getting used to yourself."

"But…" Both Shippo and Miroku waited for him to continue. "But I want to help her."

"She has helped you much as you learn everything. It is natural to want to help her back," Miroku baited in hopes of pulling more of the hanyou out.

Whether InuYasha knew what the houshi was attempting or not didn't matter, he wanted to understand these feelings himself and the only way to do that was to ask someone who knew the real InuYasha. "It is more than just repaying a debt. She…I know she is important to me. When she screamed, I felt it. I was…afraid."

"Kagome-sama is one of the most important people in your life, I believe. You being in this state proves how willing you were to do anything to protect her. Anyone that important would make you afraid should they be hurt."

InuYasha took a deep breath and scowled even more. "I hate this smell. She always smells so nice."

Miroku started laughing again, only this time much more cheerfully.

"What's so funny!"

"Gomen, gomen. It's just, that is the first time I ever heard you say something like that. Usually you don't talk much of what you actually think of Kagome-sama. We all just now from how you act."

InuYasha lowered his reddening face. "Well, I don't really have much of a choice now. You all know what I would think better than I do."

"It's fine, just different."

"You know what?" the hanyou asked, returning his gaze to Kagome and not caring for the embarrassment. "I wouldn't have even noticed that I liked her scent if I hadn't had a dream."

"A dream?"

__

InuYasha looked up at Kagome's tired eyes, a handkerchief that had only a moment before been drying his face was still firmly clutched in her hand.

"Did I wake you?"

"No, it's fine."

"How are you feeling?"

He was…hurt. So tired and numb, yet Kagome's face relaxed him.

"It was weird though, because, I was human in it."

__

"Kagome," he called in an airy whisper."

"Yes."

"May I…may I lie on your lap?"

She looked shocked for a moment, but just a moment. "Sure."

"My hair was black and I had ears like you all."

__

Kagome's hand brushed back his dark, shadeless hair in slow, calming strokes. "Is that better?"

"Ah." His body was so tired he couldn't even open his eyes completely, so he let himself fall into her gentle scent.

"And I told Kagome that she smelled nice."

__

"Kagome."

"What is it?"

InuYasha turned slightly so he could drown out all the scents but Kagome. He didn't want to know anything but her. "You…you smell nice."

"Hey! You made a point to tell me how much you hated my scent!"

"I know," he breathed. "But…I was lying."

"Weird dream, huh?"

InuYasha was shocked to find Miroku looking about ready to pass out from straining to remember something. Suddenly, the houshi looked down to Shippo still settled snugly in InuYasha's lap.

"Shippo, didn't you say the first time InuYasha changed on the new moon with Kagome you were with them?"

"Changed?" InuYasha asked _highly_ confused.

The others ignored him completely.

"Yeah, I was there because Kagome got mad at him for not telling her."

"What do you mean changed?" he tried asking again.

Miroku still ignored InuYasha's question. "Do you remember anything like that happening?"

"No, but I we were all asleep for a while."

"What do you mean changed?"

"Were there any other times he changed before Sango and I saw him?"

"Changed?" InuYasha repeated.

Shippo thought hard. "I don't think so."

He had to admit, it took a lot to make him truly angry, but InuYasha did not like being ignored when it concerned him. Both houshi and kitsune found their faces firmly imbedded in the ground as InuYasha stood up screaming at the both of them.

"What the hell do you mean changed!"

For the first time InuYasha _didn't_ apologize for losing his temper. He wanted to know what they meant by 'changed' since the only thing he knew was changing into a mindless killer, and he didn't like the idea he had done this on a regular basis as they were making it sound. His outburst, however, caught the attention of the two women sitting nearby and they quickly rushed to find out what had happened.

"InuYasha, why are you screaming?" Sango asked before Kagome could.

"Those two bastards won't tell me what the hell they mean by changed!" he raged only to immediately calm as he saw Kagome's bloodshot eyes. She had been crying. "Gomen, I just wanted to know what they meant."

Sango looked Miroku who was wiping the dirt from his cheek. "Changed what?"

"InuYasha, it seems, had a dream where he was human. Supposedly he was human and told Kagome-sama she 'smelled nice' as he put it. I was merely trying to find out from Shippo if that happened."

"How could it happen? I was human in it." The crimson hue was quickly returning to InuYasha's cheeks. He hadn't intended on telling _Kagome_ about his dream.

"You see, InuYasha, " Miroku started in his knowing voice, " there are times when every hanyou changes into a human. For you it is the night of the new moon."

"I become…human?" First he is a hanyou, then his demon blood can control him, and now he becomes human. What next, he turns into a dog on the full moon?

"Yes, every hanyou must at some point, and for that time you have black hair and your ears change. You are human for that night. So you see…"

Miroku didn't have a chance to finish his sentence. Kagome stepped up and InuYasha could see that hopeful look that had so often consumed her.

"Were you…resting in my lap?" Her voice could barely support the weight of her hope and fear.

InuYasha almost couldn't answer. "How did you know?"

He waited for an answer. She dropped her eyes to the ground between them and there was most deafening of silences. Her shoulders jumped once. Twice. Three…four…they shook almost uncontrollably. InuYasha was about to grab hold of her, afraid that she was going to start screaming again, but stopped when the first simple sounds touched his ears.

Laughter. She was laughing.

"InuYasha," Kagome breathed between her laughing fits. "That happened!"

He couldn't have heard that right. She didn't just say that he had remembered something of his life. Kagome hadn't told him that was real.

She looked up to him finally, her eyes light, free. "InuYasha, that really happened. It wasn't a dream."

"Really?" He couldn't believe it. Not after all the trouble and confusion.

"Really!"

Kagome jumped up and grabbed InuYasha around the neck so forcefully both toppled to the ground as she continued to laugh. He…had remembered.

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What is it with me ending these chapters happily? That isn't like me. Hmm, maybe it is a present since this took a while to get out since last time. Enjoy it! If you are wondering about Kagome's freak out, as you should, you will find out more next chap when I put it back into her POV. Think about it and it shouldn't be too hard to figure out what she was thinking, but then again, I know what she was thinking so I might just _think_ it wouldn't be hard.

Yeah, school, work, crappy ass illness, and other fictions take up my time as well. Not to worry, I give each fiction time and do my best not to neglect any one.

Oh, and speaking of other fictions, if any of you read Demon Sex Education, my collaboration story under the name Flaming Duck, and liked the insane humor of it all then I suggest you read the next one being posted under Flaming Duck titled, Flaming Duck Presents Yukinaton 80: InuYasha style. More insane humor and two evil, all-powerful self insertions to keep the fun rolling! I assure you, if you liked Demon Sex Ed, you will like this too. Hell, we make fun of Demon Sex Ed _in_ this.

Thanks again to everyone for reviewing, I love them. Make sure to review for this chp and I will be working on everything as fast as I can. Ja Ne

Oh, and revision will be made tomorrow for any late night typos, which I am sure there are. Come on it is 3:30 am.


	5. Help Please

Ok, people. I know you are all probably going, "OH MY GOD SHE POSTED!" right about now, but please, bear with me. The reason this has not been updated is, simply put, I am stuck.

This is where you all come in! Writing is all about obtaining new ideas, and quiet frankly, I need some. So please, review this chp with suggestions of what you think could happen, perhaps what you would like to happen, or just a friendly comment on the story.

There are a few things to keep in mind though:

I know exactly how Sesshoumaru will be introduced into the story, but I need more time to pass before I bring him in. So please, do not ask for him in the next chapter.

I know exactly how Kikyou will first appear, and that _really_ needs more time. Certain things must happen before she comes into play. So, once again, please do not ask for her.

Lastly, keep in mind that, while InuYasha is out of character due to the amnesia, the others I am trying to keep as close to the canon as possible. So do not sk for outlandish OOC things to occur.

Have you come to see my problem? Two characters I could put in, I can't. I was toying with the idea of Kagura, but cannot find a scene that I like. So please, I ask for help.

Yours truly,

Sessy-sama


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